do you feel a memorial on a hwy is offense?

by kls 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • Bona Dea
    Bona Dea

    I say deprivation of compassion is a serious ailment. If we can't allow people to freely grieve for lost loved ones in their own way, what kind of people are we? That we get all pissed off at these people for "littering" who've lost moms, dads, husbands, children because we're concerned that it looks "trashy". I say grow a f-ing heart. Who gives a flying crap that my, yours, and even the grievers tax dollars are paying for the maintenance side of the road? We'd be paying for it regardless.

    And I am not a fundie. And personally, I do not feel that someone planting a cross as a memorial to the death of a loved one is being "preachy", but that is my opinion. I am agnostic and I couldn't imagine being offended by someone expressing their grief in this way. If I got my bowels in an uproar everytime I saw a cross or someone exercising a freedom of speech or religion that was contrary to mine, then I would be in a mess (pun intended). And anyway, I doubt any of them are thinking of converting, pushing their religion, or trying to violate anyone's freedoms when they erect these memorials. As a matter of fact, I am quite sure that that is the very last thing on their minds.

    People who profess zero belief in god can still be compassionate, empathetic, sympathetic. If mourners want to put plastic crosses, teddy bears, ceramic angels, whatever, I could care less. And it is the fault of the driver passing by who allows him/herself to be distracted by it. That's like saying, "Stop planting azaleas and forsythia too close to the road. There just too darn beautiful and drivers are distracted by it"..."Take down all billboard advertisements and wordy signs! People are getting distracted." Puhleez. Personally, I've never been in that situation (lost someone in a car accident), but if I ever were I would hope people could at least try to be sympathetic of my misery. If you want to bust somebody's balls about street litter, rally on about those who clean out their cars while driving down the road, or those who use it for a landfill but, jesus h christ, leave these pitiful mourners the hell alone!!

    Perhaps I am just fed up to my limit with American Xtian Fundamentalism. But if I see one more cross I just might sue. Free speech, but on public property others' rights are just as valid as my own and neutrality should be maintained (enforced even if people can't manage to do it on their own!)

    I think you've hit the nail on the head. This discussion is NOT about American Xtian is about people who have had loved one's to die and are trying to deal with it in their own way. Pretty basic human function...grief. This subject is obviously dredging up other issues for you that are not really related to this topic. If you feel that your rant or your tyrannical idea about how this situation should be handled (i.e. "enforced even if people can't manage to do it on their own!") is "neutral" when your entire response reeked of bias and anti-Xtianfundieism, then perhaps you should reevaluate your post and try to do so objectively. I mean this with this utmost sincerity...

    Take care


  • Ravyn

    dang Sadie! guess I am not the only one with issues huh? I did admit that BTW.

    I still don't think it is appropriate outside of the cemetery. What if the accident happened in your yard? Would you allow people to put teddy bears and plastic flowers and crosses in your yard indefinitely, to be ruined by the weather and generally deteriorate with time, to express their grief? Geesh. I also said that I thought it was a regional thing---and there is just no way you can tell me that the South where I live is not fundy to the core and uses such situations to exploit and promote their own agendas---I live here and I see it every second of every day!

    and another thing(I am saying all of this with a smirk on my face--I am not angry).... I also suggested a road sign to memorialize the victims of such accidents in a more constructive, permanent way--didn't I?

    gosh Sadie have some of my chocolate!


  • Undecided

    My first cousins husband(a JW) was killed in a car accident and there was a cross with flowers there for a year or more. The guy's(who hit him head on) relatives must have put them there. There were tire tracks on the road leading to the ditch that he left when he locked the brakes that lasted more than a year. It reminded me of him every time I passed the site. No one ever knew why the young guy went across the road to hit him. It didn't seem offensive to me at all. It kind of made me sad, he was a good guy and my cousin loved him as well as his kids.

    Ken P.

  • obiwan

    I think it makes me more aware of that particular area. I have seen one at an intersection right next to a school where a couple of children died, so everytime I go through that intersection I take extra caution to look out for other children. I didn't know the circumstances of the accident, but I think those memorials should make us think a little extra about the people around us, and that in our busy,hectic and fast paced life that all of us at one time or another get caught up in, that we sometimes forget to take others into consideration and slow down....that's how accidents happen.

  • Bona Dea
    Bona Dea

    ...guess I do need to chill

    No, I wouldn't care if someone erected a memorial in my front yard if it helped them with their grieving process, but that's just me. And I do agree that the south is fundy to the core (I'm in GA). Personally, I've never witnessed them exploiting this type of situation...but I have been to the occassional funeral where a pastor or two preached a sermon rather than a eulogy (now that is tacky!). Brings to mind that song by the Beatles about Eleanor Rigby (can't remember the name of the song). Yep, it's a lonely world for someone like me round these parts...surrounded by rednecks and bible thumpers*

    Sadie (and I ain't got no dang "issues"**)

    Scoot*** over Ravyn and pass the chocolate please....

    * before anyone slams me...that was a joke

    ** that was a joke. I definitely have my own special set of issues...

    *** note my fancy southern lingo

  • sandy

    I am sorry for those of you who have lost loved ones. I know it is hard to deal with your grief and this is just how some people deal with it.

    I cannot tell people how to griev.

    But, I do think it is better for people not to leave such things where their loved ones were killed. Others are right, there are cemetaries for this. I do not like seeing such things on the sides of roads or freeways either. It really can be a distraction to drivers.

    If heaven does exist (I am not saying it doesn't-I just don't know) your loved ones know how much you love and miss them.

  • freedom96

    I think that those who take the time to actually organize a complaint about their rights being violated because of a memorial of sorts on the side of a road have far too much frigging time on their hands.

  • Ravyn

    ***I think that those who take the time to actually organize a complaint about their rights being violated because of a memorial of sorts on the side of a road have far too much frigging time on their hands.***

    I actually agree Freedom--I think they should have used the same energies to try to get a road sign or traffic light in memoriam to prevent another tragedy!


  • Billygoat

    Wait until you lose a loved one on road accident like that. You may be like me. I used to think those memorials were tacky and tasteless. Now that I've lost a friend, I say "Live and let live. It's not killin' ya so why gripe for the sake of griping? Why not DO something with that energy and get your local government to get a new CAUTION sign?" Sad thing is most people don't want to DO that much BUT gripe.

  • liquidsky

    My two best freinds were hit by a car while skateboarding and died right in front of me. Still didn't change how I felt about roadside memorials.Doesn't mean I don't have a heart......

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