To be more specific did this have a negative effect with your believing family ? Is this viewed the same as DF'ing ? I don't know if I can stay associatted with this organisation anymore after the things I've seen them do and seen what they are responsible for.
What happens if you DA yourself and you've been inactive for a long time?
by be wise 15 Replies latest jw friends
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Soledad
They treat you the same as a DF person when you DA
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be wise
Does anyone know the procedure involved ?
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rocketman
Basically, theyw ant you to notify them in writing of your intention to disassociate. You then are stating that you no longer consider yourself one of Jehovah;s Witnesses. As a result, as Soledad mentiones, you will be treated just as a df'd person would. Your family living outside your home would then shun you, or at least have very limited contact with you, limited to 'necessary family matters'. Family living with you would not be expected to shun you, but you would have no spirtual interchange with them. And, depending on your family and how they feel, they may end up shunning you anyway to the extent possible.
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rocketman
btw be wise,
Time and again, the suggestion given by many posters here is not to disassociate if at all possible, because then you are doing things on jw terms. Perhaps it might be best just to remain inactive.
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Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.
Some inactive ones prefer to remain that way and just drift away from the org and to leave it up to the older men to act in some way upon the inactive ones course of action.
Many, self included, prefer to have disassociated, thus denying the elders any satisfaction of ridding the cong. of a supposed wrongdoer. Disassociation is a course chosen by the inactive one and, although disfellowshipping involves a choice on the part of the one being disfellowshipped, it means that the older men have 'got' you for some wrongdoing and are out to cleanse the cong. of your presence (I doubt whether trying to turn the wrongdoer around from their course of action is foremost on the elders agenda at this stage, as they should have been actively pursuing that facet of procedings long before it got to any disciplinary hearing).
Disassociate = peace of mind + in effect telling the elders to shove it.
cheeses the contented one.
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be wise
Thanks for the advice. It wouldn't effect me much family wise, although I do have neices and nephews that I wouldn't want to lose contact with, I think this may happen on one side but not the other but you never know how people are going to react do you once they are given so-called 'advice' ?
The thing is I've always been a nice enough guy and I've been happier than ever leaving the teachings of the WTS behind. People notice I'm much more 'with it' and balanced even the witnesses I very occasionally meet. I'd never treat them badly if I met them, even the elders, because I don't believe this would achieve anything. I totally ignore the religion thing, I just like to be friendly like anybody else. If they brought it up I would tell them how I felt about it though. Same with my family, I'd never bring it up [this is very hard though sometimes, I really have to bite my lip but what would it achieve if I did] unless they give me an unbalanced ear bashing then they've got to expect the same in return, so they don't ever bring it up, anymore. I think if I DA'd myself it also might make people think cos people know what I'm like but I wouldn't hold my breath. -undecided- By the way I never thought they'd still have control in some way, this makes me just think I should 'get rid' completely.
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rebel
be wise,
Why not just drift away? Why should you have to make any sort of statement about leaving? If you were going to any other church, you could come and go as you please. As rocketman mentioned, if you DA yourself, you are doing things on their terms. I have been asked recently by a few JWs from my old congregation whether I am coming back to meetings. I just tell them that I know where the KH is and, if I ever feel I want to, I will come along. This usually shuts them up as they know I don't wish to discuss anything with them - it is none of their business. Basically, if you want to go to the KH - just go. If you don't want to go - don't go.
If ever the elders force me to make a decision one way or another, I will still refuse to do so. I have done nothing that warrants disfellowshipping and, if they ever made an announcement about me in the KH, I would threaten them with legal action for slander. I don't know if I would have grounds, but I would threaten them just the same. They have no right to make derogatory announcements about me in front of a large group of people who have known me for years. I am not sure what the legal angle on this is, but I would not take it lying down.
Whatever you decide to do, do what YOU want, and not what they want you to do. Don't make things easy for them. If I am pushed, I intend to cause as much hassle as possible. If they leave me alone, I will leave them alone.
Just my thoughts.
xxR
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be wise
I understand what you are saying Rebel. I haven't been to a meeting in about 5 years I think. I left it behind a long time ago, although I'm just coming to realise what they are responsible for as well. Maybe your right, we'll see. I'll chew it over I think, don't believe in being too hasty.
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rocketman
rebel, I like the point you made about 'knowing where the Kingdom Hall is'. I feel the same way. Sometimes, especially lately, the've bothered me so much with unannounced visits, that I've put a sign above my doorbell whoch says "elders - no calls. Thank you". I was going to add "we know where the kingdom hall is" but I'll just do that verbally if they still try coming (so far, so good).