Marriage (page 2)

openminded

My JW wife doesn't want me praying for the family anymore. Since I quit going to meetings, she thinks I pray to a different God.

I took her out to dinner with another married couple(friends of mine) who are pretty religious(Assembly of God I think).They had no idea about my wife being JW or my background in the group. They wanted to say a simple little prayer(out loud) before we ate. Well my wife objected. The whole thing was really awkward. Later she blamed me for never taking her side.

The other day she asked me why I never bring my friends around the house. I wanted to tell her it was because I didn't want her getting to attatched, with Armegeddon being so close and all, but I held back.

Needless to say things are not ok. The future looks grim.

We are going to give counciling a try.

I just wonder how much respect a JW wife can have for an inactive hubby who would rather go to the park with his son than have a "family study". Or go to night school instead of going to the meetings.

I know that I am not helping this sitution with my busy work and school scheduel but to be honest I prefer these things to facing this loser of a marriage.

In all honesty our getting married in the Kingdom Hall at 20 was based mostly on physical attraction. Now that this is gone all thats left is deflated expectations.

She is a sweet person, who deserves a "theocratic" husband. She needs someone to "take the lead" spiritually. I guess I wont be that guy. Its tough living with a spouse who cannot validate any I do other that JW activity.

mommy

TW,

"Test driving" Thinker was the smartest and best thing I have ever done in my life.

heehee haahaah ROFLOL lol. Girl you are too much. It is funny when I posted my reply I thought of our conversation about this very topic, I was hoping you would come in and say a line or two. I just can't beieve you made me cry I was laughing so hard

Openminded,
We have discussed some aspects of this in chat with you. I really feel for your situation. There really is nothing I can add right now I haven't already said to you. I am sorry(((hugs)))
wendy

TheApostleAK

I don't know why a guy would want to marry a JW chick for....their all D.I.B. (Dead In Bed).

thinkers wife

Wendy,
I couldn't resist! Glad I made you laugh. I would love to have a huge girl laugh together one of these days!!!!!
Openminded,
So sorry to hear what a tough position you are in.
Riz,
You go girl. Very wise when you were younger!!! And so true about the JW kids. Sad. Wish I had been as wise as you when I was younger. But then again I might not have met Thinker and what a tragedy that would have been.
TW

thinker

TheApostleAK,
I've only met one JW chick, and she most definitely does NOT fall into the DIB class. Years of frustration can lead to unbridled enthusiasm when it is finally overcome (no pun intended).

thinker

stephenw20

"Open" keep your chin up....

and remember this one from "the BOSS"

Tunnel Of Love -

Fat man sitting on a little stool
Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you
Hands me two tickets, smiles and whispers good luck
Cuddle up, angel, cuddle up, my little dove
We'll ride down, baby, into this tunnel of love

I can feel the soft silk of your blouse
And them soft thrills in our little fun-house
Then the lights go out and it's just the three of us
You, me and all that stuff we're so scared of
Gotta ride down, baby, into this tunnel of love

There's a crazy mirror showing us both in 5-D
I'm laughing at you, you're laughing at me
There's a room of shadows that gets so dark, brother
It's easy for two people to lose each other
In this tunnel of love

It ought to be easy, ought to be simple enough
Man meets a woman and they fall in love
But the house is haunted and the ride gets rough
And you've got to learn to live with what you can't rise above
If you want to ride on down in through this tunnel of love

--------------------------

"learn to live with what you cant rise above " my brother........not an easy task..........

unanswered

magoo-great topic!

my first marriage didn't last 2 years, mostly because i think we were too young, and made the decision too quickly. i wasn't a perfect witness at the time, but i i didn't feel like we could move in together w/out being married, because i wasn't ready to totally give up on the WT yet. i wish we had. we both could have been spared a trying marriage that ended painfully.

during that marriage i eventually did walk away from the WT, so after i was divorced i felt free to follow my instincts on what was right for me as far as relationships are concerned. i don't even consider myself an immoral person, just a realist. later, when i met rileygurl, things seemed so good, and i had never dated someone i felt so bonded and attracted to, but i still wasn't going to hop into marriage without testing the water, i just wasn't willing to make that mistake again. so we moved in together and things WERE great, i ended up comitting my life to her long before we got married. when we did get married it was cool, but almost unecessary-we were already bonded for life.:)

it felt so good to go into marriage knowing that we had as good of a foundation for one as possible, knowing that there might still be suprises down the road, but that the relationship had already stood up to testing, and stayed strong. i wish that so many young witnesses did not have to feel pressured to marry young because of hormones that they cannot control. i wish that most of them didn't have to enter marriage thinking that things would be easier after they got married, only to find out that they just get harder. maybe a few moments of "immorality" ARE better than wasting a good portion, if not all, of your life on a bad marriage. just my two-nate

thinkers wife

Good for you Nate!!!!!! You and Rileygurl, got it right!!! Totally concur with your post. Congrats!! Thinker and I felt like we were married long before we actually were. But we had a wonderful wedding day too!!
TW

unanswered

thank you, thinker's wife, i think i finally DID get it right!:)

i'm happy for what you and thinker have found too!

nate

Thirdson

My turn for confession: I was married for 13 years while a JW. My wife was 19 and I was 24 when we married. She decided later on that she married too young, had a deprived (and abusive) childhood and decided that leaving me and dating lots of other people would be the answer to her problems. May be it was/is the answer for her.

The WTS does not have the answers or a magic formula for a happy marriage. I used to think they did but I changed my mind a long time ago. Many JW’s suffer unhappy and abusive marriages. The only reason the divorce rate is not much higher among JW’s is the problems divorce and separation cause to members who fear judicial councils and possible shunning. Fear is not a good reason to stay married.

Happily for me (at least), I remarried. I have a different view of equality now compared to my JW days. We undertook pre-marital counseling and were very happy about the assessment we had for our compatibility in a whole range of areas as well as knowing where we might experience some difficulties. We are not blind to issues that can arise. At the same time I believe making one partner the “boss” and expecting wives to conform to outdated, subservient roles within the partnership of marriage to be bad counsel and is one of the problems JW’s face in marriage.

THirdson

'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

Marriage

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