Do You Consider Yourself A Stronger Person Since Your Eyes Have Opened?

by minimus 49 Replies latest jw friends


    It's a combination of things. But Yes X3 to your opening statement.

    I definitely feel better: mentally and physically as a result of my head being screwed on tighter, and blinders around my eyes now removed.

    This forum adds to my resolve.

    I am so glad it exists, and it's so neat to see news and information shared here of all sorts, that helps us realize:


    Freedom indeed.

  • minimus

    I'm very glad to see the responses here!!! It gives everyone, including lurkers, hope, to see that THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE THE ORGANIZATION.

  • browniiis

    I am free at last. It is like when you get a divorce and you have alot of freedom and sometimes you can go overboard then you find a happy medium. Been there done that. I was associated for 32 years and was depressed most of the time. This is not the way god wants me to feel is it? I just joined the ex-jw group and I am happy about this. I have worked in the mental health field for years and know for a fact that support groups can save lives, it does not mean a person is weak either . I believe in my heart god has answered my prayers now that I have found all of you that are truly sincere. Thanks

  • LoverOfTruth


    I read your message this morning before leaving for work and you have been on my mind most ofthe day. I have added you to my prayer list.

    Please stop blaming yourself. Do you think will would be better if you continued in the "Lie" ? It's not your fault because of others behavior!

    My situation was very much like yours. I was extremely depressed for about 5 years, to the point of taking my own life. Through the Grace of God, I was given the courage to get professional help. The psychologist just happened to know a girl in my congregation who had committed suicide; she was one of her patients.

    I was advised to stop blaming myself just because others said it was all my fault.

    That was the beginning of my healing.

    Just remember Jehovah God and his son Jesus Christ loves you so very very much. That love is UNCONDITIONAL.

    If you need to talk, my e-mail address is [email protected].

    Christian love,


  • Bona Dea
    Bona Dea

    Hello Dianne (that's my mom's name),

    Thank you for the kind words. I really am very glad that I found out about the lies, deceit, corruption that were all going on within the org...especially before I decided to get baptized (husband not even baptized yet; doing it this July). So, I am technically not an "apostate", but I have been involved and followed the witness doctrine for many years (up until Dec 2001). It's just hard for me to throw a party and break into singing "free at last" when my husband is still willfully blind to it all. I hate it more so for my kids (7 and 5). Every day, every conversation is like a battlefield at my home. I want so badly to feel the freedom that everyone here talks about. I want to be able to freely talk to my children, discipline my children, think, believe, breathe, have friends that haven't been hand-picked by him, have an open and loving marriage and be able to converse without arguing or being made into a demon or treated like a complete idiot.

    It's like "I" (my thoughts, feelings, opinions about anything) don't matter anymore. He doesn't even try to listen. I talk, he hears, he doesn't listen. He knows I'm not buying into the JW mentality anymore. He gets all defensive when I try to share with him things I've read or learned about the witnesses or their doctrine. I barely get the words formed on my tongue and he starts back at me. He takes it as a personal attack. He doesn't even try to sell me the scriptures, the canned responses anymore...he just starts attacking me (verbally). He has completely given up on winning me back to the witnesses, and he is hitting the children full throttle with the kingdom garb. When I read stories about whole families coming out of the organization together, I feel that twinge of hope and usually a lot of envy...knowing that it just is not ever going to happen for me. He is dead set on going. He knows everything that I know about them...he just doesn't care.

    I appreciate the prayers....


  • minimus

    My wife was encouraged by 3 sisters today to stay strong so that she could be the one to assist my daughter and me. My wife noted that listening to these types of comments are "draining". Strength to overcome well meaning JW's sometimes takes time..

  • LoverOfTruth


    So glad to see your post tonight. I would love to email you off the chat. You have my email address.

    Prayer is really powerful. I used to wonder why we were required to pray. Afterall, God is in Power and can do what he wants to do. He already knows what is in our hearts and minds.

    A girlfriend of mine explained it this way.(I think it makes good sense). God allows humans to make their own decisions. Oftentimes, our decisions bring bad things upon us. He grieves for us in our misery but still his promise to let us do as we wish.

    Only IF we ask, will he get involved. Prayer is our way of Asking Jehovah to get involved. I have already prayed for you numerous times today. Actually, every time I pray for my oldest son, I include you. I have faith he will bring you through this mess. It may not be easy. Try not to lean on your own understanding. Try to talk to him yourself.

    This really isn't the forum to talk because we're getting off the topic being discussed. Anytime you want to talk via email, get in contact with me. I can possibly give you some advice, especially as it pertains to your little ones. I got through everything but it wasn't easy.

    With Unconditional love,


  • Robdar

    No, I do not feel stronger. I have always been strong when it came to making my own decisions for my mental, spiritual and emotional well being. That is why I had the strength to leave in the first place. But, I do not understand why I still have the nightmares about the JWs or Armageddon. Of course, I had those nightmares when I was still in the "truth" too.


  • minimus

    You're dreaming about what your subconscious dwells on. Perhaps you should fantasize on something else.

  • aojumper


    It took a tremendous amount of strength to leave, then it continually took courage to make the baby steps away from the borg. I have a couple JW's that stop by biwekly (like clockwork) but I can face them and I do so because I feel so sorry for them. I pray that I can say the onw thing that will open up a crack in their minds.

    But I am starting to enjoy and learn about other people and cultures and other... stuff. Like last night instead of attending the memorial, for the first time ever!!! A friend of mine and I organized a small passover with our husbands and her brother in law. It was so cool we kept it really simple and had a blast and when we passed the wine, we drank like fish! it was a great time.


    If I might give a bit of advice, that you can simply put into your arsenal to draw on or at least think about. My advice is to love your husband, unconditionally, accept him and his choice, and love him, as Christ really truly loves us. When he sees the hipocrasy and fake love within' the borg he may come around. I would say anything you feel is appropriate to your children, teach them to question things, respectfully and love people for themselves, not what they do. As for you, well, I will say that in order to speak intelligently with witnesses (many of who are my family), I personally have started to read the bible cover to cover. I am reading the Life Application Bible, it gives a good explanation of certain scenarios, that we might interpret differently in our day and age. it is a good place to start to learn to educate your children and whenever possible your husband, whether or not you choose to subscribe to any system of beliefs it is nevertheless very fascinating to see what went on in those times (the bible is extremely historically acurate).

    You are in my prayers also. My mantra through this whole ordeal is "That that doesn't kill me makes me stronger" Through this may your strength pass on to your children, and anyone you may encounter.

    Much love


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