Do You Now Appreciate Your Worth Since You Are Out Of The Organization?

by minimus 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    So many people that are Witnesses feel down and unworthy. Do you still feel this way about yourself???

  • acsot
    So many people that are Witnesses feel down and unworthy. Do you still feel this way about yourself???

    I had chronic mild depression for years, all the while doing 140 hours/month or 100/month, then 90 hours/month in field service. When I no longer did any hours a month in field service, the depression and guilt disappeared.

    I'd still like to know the "why" of a lot of things, but having unanswered questions is totally okay with me right now. I used to think that I probably wasn't good enough for Jehovah to save at Armageddon anyhow, therefore the "undiscovered country" is not that scary.

  • joannadandy
    Do You Now Appreciate Your Worth Since You Are Out Of The Organization?


    Jo of the "eternal schmuck" class

  • Gopher

    I'm more open-minded and accepting of the worth of others.

    As for the worth of my own self, I'm still working on that. I'm trying to let myself feel what it's natural to feel, and do what is okay to do (even though I heard otherwise all my life before).

  • minimus

    So many are affected by the treatment that they have had to endure because of the organization. If we do not conform to EVERY single "suggestion", by the "slave", we are considered a number of things, such as weak, insubordinate, or apostate. If we don't please the ruling cliques, we are subjugated to the netherworld. There's enormous pressure to please everyone else but yourself. Since leaving the organization, a number still do not feel happy. Many even still feel guilty! Believe me, we should never feel beneath ourselves. We are worth more now, than ever before.

  • Scully

    Yes. Absolutely.

    Which is why it bothers me when I see "Which posters make the most impact?" threads. Why should our self worth be dependent on whether or not OTHER PEOPLE think we make an impact on them??

    I mean, yes, it's nice to know that other people like me and appreciate what I have to say here, but I don't want to revert back to the JW-ish behaviour of seeking others' approval or compliments, etc in order to feel good about myself.

    It takes a long time to break that habit and begin to operate from an internal view of my own worth, and I have no intention of going back to it.

    Love, Scully

  • Billygoat

    I can say that I'm beginning to. Nineteen years of emotional abuse and blackmail is not going to come undone in just a few years. I've been out for 13 years and am getting stronger and healthier every day. I realized recently that I am so grateful for my parents shunning me. Without that, I would not have made the progress I've made. And I just remember a saying that is so meaningful to me:

    Progress...not perfection.

  • minimus

    Scully, this isn't just a JW mindset. People need to feel needed. The problem with these types of threads is that if you're not on the list, you feel dejected. If you go to a club and YOU are not allowed to go past the red rope, you feel like a loser. (I never had that problem). If everyone else wins a door prize EXCEPT you, you begin to feel inadequate. These things aren't unique to JW's. They affect any person. As humans, we are all to some degree dependent on approval. If NO ONE liked us, we would feel awful. If we do get approval of some sort in our group of friends, we appreciate it.....That's a fact of life.

  • NaruNaruChan

    Hell yes. More than ever before. My time is valuable, I'm still young, I have a life now! ^_^

  • minimus

    That's what it's all about. Not enjoying life now and waiting decades to appreciate what you've been missing is such a waste!!! Take the time to enjoy living, not in fear or shame. Life is something we should all enjoy with gusto!

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