Very thought Provoking. Depersonalization – I never knew the word. But it is what I am. I too can speak about a subject that others are passionate about without a twinge of emotion. My whole family (myself and eight grown children) are anti-social. We are content within our group but have trouble reaching out to others in any meaningful way. We talk about it. We are aware of the problem but are at odds with fixing it. Two of my sons are trying to venture into the unknown world of "dating" outside of the WTS box. They are so unsure of how to approach the whole idea.
It’s as though we as JW’s lived by a script. Now we have to write our own script. We have no social skills. We do not know how to interact with normal human beings.
The conversations at the KH were meaningless chit-chat. I said the same thing to the same people week after week for too many years. I went door to door and gave my "scripted" presentations to uninterested people that I did not give a flip about.
I believed that I knew a lot about a lot of things thanks to Awake and Watchtower. Now I have to search and research everything to learn the real truth about everything. My self-esteem is at a dangerous low because I know that I know very little about everything.
I have to discover at the age of 55 who I am and try to encourage my children to venture out into the unknown world, a place I had warned them was a wicked dangerous place.
There is so much damage that is caused by living in slavery for so many years.
I am trying to rid myself of the depersonalization complex. I am slowly developing a real personality of my very own. Someday I hope to have a passionate, spirited conversation with another equally passionate person.