Weekend shot to hell by a simple knock on door

by goofy 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • goofy

    Hi all, just thought I would vent a little. I am more mad at myself than anything. Yesterday (Saturday) morning, after a very nice Friday night of partying and chatting it up at my favorite lounge, knock knock on my door. It is about 10am, I am am just finishing my breakfast, long shirt on, no bra, hair not fixed no makeup. Knock Knock. I have a door with glass on it and a nice see through white curtain over it. I know they saw me dash and hide. My friends would not be knocking on my door unannouced on a Saturday morning, they would be in about the same situation as me. I could see there were two people. I know it was the brothers. I have felt so guilty and depressed since that. I feel horrible for not openning up but I was not presentable and it brought back a flood of emotions. I guess I am upset that they visit me because they have to, either to fulfill their shepparding calls a little late or Memorial invite. I am also upset that they didn't call ahead. Had they called I would have been dressed, made up and had coffee and donuts of some sort. Don't get me wrong, I have zero intention of going back, but at one point these people were my friends and I hate being a bitch and hiding like that,and especially since I know they saw me and I probably hurt their feelings. Then of course my Mom and sis lay a guilt trip on me when I mentioned it. I have felt depressed and went on a stupid drinking binge since yesterday morning, something that I have had under control for the most part. I have been crying and having this emotional thing brought back, too many memories. I was reading the Mission statement on the Awake last night, someone had posted about that. It changed from declaring the 1914 generation not ending, to now Armageddon coming soon. It made me so upset that I spent all my life so far and set my goals according to "the hope" and now it has all changed and now they show up at my door wanting me to go back, I am sure. I am just so upset and want to live my life and see my family members (which they never will) live their life normal. If I see the Brothers or Sisters I want it on a social basis only. I don't want the guilt pressure and all these horrible emotions that keep coming back. Thanks for letting me vent.

  • Gopher

    (( Goofy ))

    Sorry to hear about your downer this weekend. Oh well, life happens. Time will pass and it will soon be forgotten. (Sorry about all the cliches.)

    Actually, when someone calls (on the phone or in person), answering is always optional. A person could be sick or otherwise indisposed, and not be able to take an unexpected call. That's part of life and your unannounced callers should be well aware of that.

    You simply were not ready to answer, no need to feel like you have let anyone down!

    Your attitude of "I don't want to go back, but I don't hate the people" is one I share. But unfortunately if you're looking for socialization with them, it'll be on THEIR terms and not yours.

    What happened yesterday was probably the worst combination of events and timing, and it isn't likely to catch you quite by surprise again. Things will get better.

  • MoeJoJoJo

    goofy, don't feel bad

    After we quit going to meetings, the elders and others from the hall would stop by and I got tired of it after a while so I quit answering the door and they got the point after a while. It got to be quite annoying, I live in a convenient spot for them to stop by and get warmed up and still keep counting time. A couple of Saturdays I had several car groups stop in the same day. Or we would have someone stopping by on Sat. then someone on Sun. & the elders like to spend a couple of hours trying to pry info. out of you.

    I don't answer the door when I am not presentable I care who it is. I figure if its important enough, whoever it is will come back later or call before they come again.

    You didn't invite them, they just showed up unexpectedly at your door. They have reasons for not calling before they come. 1.Its easier for you to say over the phone that its not a good time than face-to-face 2.They like to catch you off-guard

    If you ever need to talk, I'm here

  • dottie


    Vent all you want...that's what we're here for

  • StinkyPantz

    Goofy, the exact same thing happened to me two hours ago.

    On Sundays I lounge around in my pj's because it's my only day off. So here comes two uninvited elders at my door when I'm trying to relax. Well, I opened the door and let them know that it wasn't cool to just show up without calling first. So I told them to come back next Sunday if they want to talk. We'll see. . .


    same happened to me this saturday............i just didn't feel guilty after. time will help with the guilt.



  • be wise
    be wise

    I had a strange weekend as well, family get together, all JW's. At the end of the night when we'd had a few beers, I said stuff that I would only say to you guy's, 6 current JW's against me but I spoke from the heart with honesty of my experiences and they couldn't really refute that. What I''m saying is follow your heart and your instincts, your probably not ready yet, you've been through a lot and at this moment in time you need support, not more confusion. You will get it as well. I recomend starting from scratch with your thinking process. The best way you can do is probably start writing about how you feel, no matter how this is, how screwed up you think you may sound, write it on your note pad and then come back to it the next day and read it. Once you start getting more compfortable with the way you feel then you will start to mend. You can do it , gradually. Think for yourself.

  • kelpie

    You shouldnt feel guilty because you dont want to answer your door and talk to them!!

    that is your right to do so or not to do so.. Its your house after all!

    Kelps (who has ignored them in the past as well)

  • Undecided

    I didn't feel guilty at all when they came to my house last week and I didn't let them know I was there. I was at the back of the house painting.

    I felt more guilty when I didn't go to the ex-jw meet-up.

    Just hang in there and it will go away in time.

    Ken P.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Replace the see-thru curtains on your door with something more opaque.

    The window in your door is a convenience for YOU, it should not be a portal that any stranger can look thru to check out you and your belongings.

Share this