i got a not so unexpected call today

by free will 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • free will
    free will

    well, about a month ago, i had to have a talk with the elders. primarily due to my lack of meeting attendance. i decided to make an effort and attend, after about two sunday meetings, i found out about the un and haven't been back since. it's been about a month now. lo and behold, they called me today to say they wanted another "talk". this after i told another jw about what changed my views. at any rate, they suggested a day, i said that wouldn't be good. i told them i'd call them. but, i don't have any intention of doing so. why can't i just fade out? i'm wondering if the talk has anything to do with being df'd. i only care because i do have family in, and i would'nt want to burden them with the decision to shun me or not. oh well, time will tell.

  • onacruse

    Hi free will

    After a few months of very sporadic attendance, and no field service, I too got "invited" to meet with the elders. They assured me it was just a shepherding call. I assumed that only 2 elders would come over...but there were 3. I immediately asked them if it was a prelude to committee action. They said straight out "NO."

    Well, guess what? Six meetings and a year and a half later, NO turned to YES.

    I wish you, and your family, the best in dodging the bullets.


  • free will
    free will

    maybe now's the time to invest in caller i.d. :)

  • qwerty

    I have Caller ID, it comes in handy. Just make sure you have all the elder names and numbers programmed in first!..........I think I am missing a few, thanks for the reminder.

    I assume like me you are in the UK?


  • rocketman

    Free Will, I doubt that they will settle for you calling them, once a certain amount of time elapses without them hearing from you. You did the right thing though by putting the ball in your court and trying to control the situation.

    They've been calling on me a lot lately too. I now have a sign above my doorbell asking them not to call. But, I still attend periodically; I just don't want them bothering me at home any more.

    Maybe a little note or sign on your door might work, but then again, they may see it as an overt way of trying to avoid them, and they may even try implying some kind of guilt.

  • garybuss

    If family shuns me, they are not family any more . . . .

  • ashitaka
    i would'nt want to burden them with the decision to shun me or not

    Congrats, bro.

    The burden is their decision, and therefore their own burden they are putting on themselves. To allow yourself to think they are victims is to be chained by the Watchtower even more. Don't allow them to take away your family. Fight for them. Be subtle. It does work, trust me.


  • tyydyy


    Sounds like you're thinking clearly hear. Stay in control. Remember that you are not playing by their rules anymore. You do not have to tell them anything. You do not have to be honest with them just so they can disfellowship them. Call it spiritual warfare if you choose. You only have to think about what's important to you. There are people here who will tell you that if your family would shun you then they aren't worth it. I personally don't believe that's true. I know the power that the organization has over them and I pity them. Yes they are victims just like I was. I have succesfully drifted and I value the precious time I get to spend with my parents even though they think I've gone crazy.

    Good Luck


  • GermanXJW

    I too got that not so unexpected call yesterday. After some unsuccessful attempts of phoning and visiting an Elder was actually at my door.

    He invited me for the memorial. Then he asked which date would suit me for he would like to talk to me for 15min or so.

    I said next Saturday would be fine. He replied that's bad because that's when the circuit assembly takes place. ROTFL

    Well, he will phone me again. I am thinking about showing him all the NGO details and how even the Elders have been lied to in the letter to the BOE.

    And whatever will be will be...

  • teejay

    Yeah, what Tim said.

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