The thought that I and all my relatives will get old and die without any return is hard for me. Also that mankind will be gone one day and that the earth will no longer exist. And I didn't like the idea that there is no god I can thank for all these beautiful things in nature.
But I just don't want to force myself anymore to believe something I'm not convinced of. I suppressed logical reasoning for all my life, now it's time I base my beliefs on that. As far as I have researched (I have only started) I'd consider myself as agnostic. I think that religion came up because it gives hope. It is a comforting idea that we don't stop existing one day, that there is someone that is able to help us and that bad happenings make sense.
I'm getting used to the concept that we all have the same ending. We are extremely lucky to know what life is like. Someday there will be just silence and the earth with its mankind will be gone and noone will remember us. That is depressing on the one hand, but on the other hand I like people more than before. I'm more motivated to be kind and supportive to strangers. My new spirituality is possibly the idea that we are all in the same boat.