My Story "Act 2"

by MarkofCane 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • flipper

    MARK- VERY well written and honestly expressed. Your statement, " I live in the now because it's real " is probably in my opinion the most important statement you made in this thread. Keep embracing the here and now, I encourage you to keep reading by educating yourself as to WHAT kind of psychological control we experienced as JW's and HOW the WT Society was able to control us so easily. At that point we are able to forgive ourselves for having been duped and then put the blame on who it should fall on - criminal and unscrupulous WT leaders. You are going through many different changes as we all do once we start peeling back the skin of mind indoctrination we received from a high control organization the WT Society.

    Several books that really helped me to move on and understand what I went through in my 44 years of WT indoctrination were 3 of Steve Hassan's books on mind control which I feel is a must read for ANY ex-JW getting out of the cult. His first book is 1. Combatting Cult Mind Control - Book # 2 is Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think For Themselves and Book # 3 - Freedom of Mind - Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs.

    As I stated- These books REALLY assisted me to understand the power of mind control and these techniques that the WT Society used to steal away our sanity and freedom of mind where we could not think straight. You will see that we have an authentic personality and like robots being programmed - the WT Society slyly tried to instill a JW cult personality into us - masking or covering over our born in authentic human empathetic personality. So it's a case of us re-embracing our authentic personality once again- which takes effort and retraining our brain neurotransmitters ! Hard work- but it's worth it ! Take care guy- if you ever want to chat on the phone just PM me my friend. Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • blondie

    I remember even as a jw I was told that the new system would solve everything. I would say, "will it give me back my childhood?" I was molested by my pedophile father and not protected by my knowing jw mother.

    Yes, you can form a good life and move forward but no happy memories of childhood to share with people.

    I assume your wife and no one close to her was molested and abused by the elders by sweeping it under the rug. No matter how much you care about the person who was molested, you cannot understand their personal memories, lack of trust of those that should have loved them. It is easier I think to ignore it, pretend it is not still happening.

    Good post. Blondie

  • TMS

    The facility, finesse, care and yes, luck, to successfully extricate a family unit from this high control association is a unique skill set. There is no instruction manual because there are simply too many variables, not to mention that the awareness, the need to depart, also comes gradually.

    Of course, if both spouses see reality at nearly the same time, fading or leaving becomes a coordinated effort. In my own case, reading a single chapter of CC online was enough for me to instinctively toss my 1956-96 "Watchtower" and "Awake!" volumes into the dumpster, up to that point my single most valued possession.

  • LoveUniHateExams

    Another good OP.

    referred to the weak as the Walking Dead (jokingly of course) - I've never heard this expression before, is it common among JWs?

  • MarkofCane



    A lot of the spiritual friends we had view us as questionable association so we don’t get invited much to anything, but it plays well in our fade."

    We felt this as well. My spouse never felt the urge or need to reach out for a position. Something always held him back. Now we know what that was.

    It amazes us how, even though we are great people to be around we never hit that "spiritual" status or mark.

    I'm sorry if I hit a nerve. I was the one who didn't hit the "mark" in retrospect my attitude towards others were my own insecurities masquerading as spiritual worthiness. There is a lot of Guilt and obligation instilled in us and when others aren't striving for the same purpose we are made to feel we need to separate them from us" The Lamb and the goat analogy, The wheat and the weeds". It's all very cleaver when you sit back and analyze it form a different perspective. It needs to be this way for the Cult to survive. I'm embarrassed for what I allowed my self to become but I'm making good on the things I can change.


  • MarkofCane


    I really enjoy reading your post. The sincerity and kindness comes across so eloquently in your words. Thanks for your advice and kind words.


  • stirred but not shaken
    stirred but not shaken

    Nicely presented. Good style. Telling like it is, but not bashing.

    My last "Bible Study" asked some questions that related to the the days mentioned in Daniel (2300. 1260, 1335). The questions came after I had explained what the 7 times and also the 70 weeks of years were. These have a mathematical calculation and could be feasible. But those other days involved the Cedar Point convention and other weird conclusions that only an indoctrinated JW could accept. I was too embarrassed to tell them. Made some excuses that it should be left for another time. That proved to be a chink in (my) the armor. Why should I feel embarrassed about this? After all, we had been selected for receiving the real truth. That wasn't the first time I was asked to explain it, but it was the first time it came up on a study for what i thought were the best candidates I had encountered in a long time. If I would have read them the explanation out of the "Daniel Prophecy" book, that study would have shut down. They were deeper thinkers. For me, it was yet another "why" or "how" moment that allowed me (like you) to do some more personal investigating. It didn't take long. However, the big surprise came when no one wanted to hear what the investigating or research turned up. I was never given the opportunity to "lead the horse to water".

    Incidentally, was that DO you referred to Charles Waller? If so, I knew him to be honest and humble, but still and indoctrinated Witness reading from a manuscript of outline from the WT.

  • MarkofCane


    My wife has had some dealings with pedophile issues in her family and the one accused was a family member and Elder. It got handled by other elders (his friends and elders serving in the same congregation with him) never went to the authorities. After it was handled my wife and i wore shocked by the proceeding. They interrogated her in front of the accused Elder and he kept saying "lies she is a liar". The Elders sided with him because he's a brother and she left the truth years ago. ( not df, just left and never wanted anything to do with it again.) There was a lot more to it, I should be careful. I could be saying to much to soon.


  • stuckinarut2

    Amazing post!

    Thanks for sharing.

    I really related to SO much of your account! Especially the way we HAD to adopt a viewpoint, or attitude towards others (lets call it "being judgemental") as prescribed by the society!

    Having faded and stepped away from the societies activities, I now see clearly just what a prick of a person I was on the road to becoming! AND YET that was called "being a spiritual person" by the organization!

  • MarkofCane

    Stirred but not shaken

    Yes that's him, Our DO Charles Waller Handsome, tall man, great speaker he knew how to make a mountain out of a molehill. Very charismatic and persuasive speaker to bad it wasn't enough for him to keep his job.

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