How many of you have had panic/anxiety attacks at the KH or...

by berylblue 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • berylblue

    ...cried through a meeting and, if so, what were the reasons?

    I cried through a lot of meetings at my second congregation while I was still in good standing. I couldn't stop myself; I'd just cry quietly. In retrospect, I realize I was feeling a lot of pain at the lack of love in the congregation.

    When I was DF, the first meeting I went to afterwards, I had a full blown panic attack, started hyperventilating, shaking and crying, and had to leave the Hall. I actually collapsed in the snow and cried. No one came to see what was wrong, although everyone in the last 7 or 8 rows saw me.

    I pulled myself together and walked home. It was about 2 miles. Not too bad, but.....I remember a bad snow storm I walked to and from the Hall and everyone just rode by. Except one car with persons in it I had never seen before. A woman called out, "Sister, would you like a ride?" Being the good DF person I was (what an oxymoron), I said, "No, I'm DF, I can't". She then said, "But it is snowing and you are shivering". I said, " I wouldn't want you to get in trouble".

    That was the only display of love that I ever received from that congregation, and apparently they weren't even in that congregation.

    I felt so much love for that woman.

    But yes, I myself have cried and had major anxiety attacks at the KH.


  • cruzanheart

    (((((Beryl))))) I've had panic/anxiety attacks lots of places, Kingdom Halls included. They're nasty, aren't they? Since I quit going, they have become noticeably fewer and lighter in intensity. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!


  • bebu

    That is totally unimaginable!!!! I cannot, cannot understand such cruelty. No wonder the tears and panic.

    What a lovely woman to try to help.

    If God blessed her for such kindness, she's probably out of the KH now.

    I'm beginning to understand better the story of the Good Samaritan through your experience...

    (BTW, the pharisee and priest possibly were afraid to "soil" themselves because of legal requirements for keeping ceremonially "kosher", since the poor guy looked dead. Ceremonial "uncleanness" for touching a dead body was a condition that could be changed only after a seven-day purification period--not an enduring condition, but somewhat inconvenient! NU 19:11-22)

    Jesus commended the Samaritan(!), not these "kosher" Jews. The Samaritan was more like God, more theologically correct than the ones who supposedly remained "ceremonially kosher".

    (... And didn't the pharisees plot to kill Jesus after he had (horrors!) healed on a Sabbath?...! Same principle here.)

    I truly hope you are finding better friends near you these days, Beryl!

    Have you had any/many attacks since leaving?


  • Latte


    I do hope that you haven't had any more anxiety attacks, the KH is certainly not the place where the kind of love Jesus would display, is found. The 'kind-of-love' one experiences at the KH is restrained, conditional, often two fact not to be desired!

    I experienced a kind of panic attack i guess, certainly not as bad as your experience. I was active, doing what i thought was OK. Yet, felt unworthy....comes with the thinks! The elation which I felt and still remember vividly, was the last meeting which I attended.....i knew that I would NOT be back! Now that was good!

  • Dansk

    The only panic attack I experienced was when I woke up from a dream, in which I was back in the Borg! Phew! That’s enough to panic anyone!

    Joking aside, Beryl, you know how much I feel about you. So sorry and fully understandable – which is why I hate the Watchtower so much. This absolutely incredible control a bunch of morons can have on others is just unbelievable. I agree, at least the woman in the car was more concerned about YOU than her own reputation.

    Hang in there, Beryl. You’re amongst true carers now.

    Love and great BIG (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

    Dansk & Family

  • rebel


    You have been treated so unkindly. That's one think that always made me mad - the ridiculous shunning policy. I hated seeing the DFd and DAd being ignored, sitting at the back of the hall. That's why I started talking to them. One woman was worried at first, as though she had the plague and I would become contaminated by talking to her! What brainwashing we put up with

    I too have panic attacks - sometimes quite severe - especially when I have to go to the KH. I usually feel sick a couple of days before and a couple of days after going. I am trying to learn to cope with them and have received a lot of advice from everyone here.

    What a relief to be finally escaping from such a hateful, sinister sect.

    Hopefully, your attacks will become fewer now you are away from all that garbage.

    Stay strong.


  • shera

    I almost passed out from having an anixety attack.Before I went out in service,I always had sweaty palms and was extremley nervous.That was the good ol' days.. Glad its over.

  • Latte

    I do remember the times when I would have to do a talk on the TM school. I really did have a problem doing them, it' s just not my personality, i was so ill at ease. Aaaarrggghhh!

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    (((((Beryl))))). You're story is very disturbing to me. I can't believe that people who pride themselves as being God's Chosen can act so cruel to a fellow Human Being. I just cannot see Jehovah looking down and being pleased with this kind of behavour. God is supposed to be a God of Love. Shunning is not love, it's nothing but Hate. The person who offered you the ride certainly acted the most Christlike. I really hope you are doing much better after leaving the witnesses. All my best to you.

  • goofy

    I never had panic attacks until I reached early 30's. I knew a lot of Bro's and Sis's who did. I started having them at first at the hall, then in the middle of the night I would wake up and my heart beat so fast I almost called an ambulance many times. I couldn't breathe and felt like running anywhere away. It was horrible. I haven't had a problem with them for a while now since I stopped going to meetings. I had one minor attack in a business meeting but that was it. I think the fact that the Halls do not have windows definitely contribute to panic attacks. A person feels closed in.

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