My introduction...hopefully not too long!

by Redneckgurl 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Redneckgurl
    Redneckgurl

    Hi! I am going to try to introduce myself without giving away any evidence of who I am as I am not DF or DA, but just wanting to figure out what is right for me to do!

    I was born into the JW world only to have parents DF as a young child and we celebrated all the holidays without the "holy" meanings and I have such wonderful memories of that. When I was 10, the elders stopped by and the rest is history.......I had to quit dance lessons, stop going to my friends house, and no more birthday parties, etc etc. I thought it was great though. (did I really?) We had this great important thing to do, everyone was going to die but us JW's and now I was a good one! Oh, but I secretly kept my worldly friends and even had boyfriends during this time. Fast forward------teenage years--------------wow was I wild, except for about a year during which time I was baptized. Got DF'd, married a worldly guy, mom was a walking crying basket case and dad wouldn't have much to do with me. This lasted about 1 1/2 years and I was desperately trying to get back "in", after getting to celebrate 2 Xmas's again with the worldly husband.

    Back in, still having a hard time not having "worldly" friends, couldn't make any in the org, and just didn't fit in. Gee, am I just one of those hopeless cases? Is there no hope for me? Living in guilt for way too many years, feeling inadequate to be a worshiper of the Almighty God Jehovah, and definately NOT one of his favorite followers, I have dealt with very bad feelings of myself, along with resentment for this religion that makes it so hard to follow God and be happy doing it. It is all up to our devotion to the org that keeps us close or not. Well, there have been a lot of issues in my life that the org does not have a clue about. I never understood why we couldn't read the supposed "poison" of an apostate to try to refute what they said if we have minds that are smart and trained well. After all, we are swimming in poison in this world every minute aren't we? How can a piece of paper harm us that much? (or the internet) Also, why do the elders have a special book that according to my mother-in-law, we don't know what kind of rules are in it, so we need to listen to what they say. ??? Birthdays, wow, the info I read about that was so cool! Job's sons had special days, and yeah, they had $$ so they celebrated it like the others with $$. God made us all special, right? So darn it! I want a special day! (oops, being selfish, hah?) I want my children to have a special day!

    Does Satan make those supposed "loving christian neighbors" of mine seem nice to swerve me from the "truth" and those fake warm people?

    I am scared to pieces right now. I feel like I really don't want to be in this religion, but of course, I also have these nagging voices telling me that I am turning my back on God, that I am evil and falling right into all of your evil hands. This consumes all of my thoughts, don't want to lose my family, and my husband seems to think that if this isn't the truth, than what else is there to go to? He thinks he is just evil inside and God will probably just destroy him. I have friends that go to church and are so happy to go. It is fun, they have friends there, they enjoy their worship. I don't enjoy mine. But Satan makes it enjoyable for them so they don't see the true religion? None of this makes sense to me, it just doesn't seem logical.....of course, I am thinking with my human mind and not God's mind. I need to scream!

    To all those on chat tonight, thanks for letting me scream there!

    Redneckgurl

  • myself
    myself

    Welcome Redneckgurl!!!! Those voices telling you that you must go back: years and years of brainwashing. They instill fear instead of teaching you to worship God out of love.

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    welcome to the board RedNeckGurl.

    My suggestion to you would be to read some of Steve Hassen's books about mind control. Maybe eye opening to you. Do a word search here on "cults" and you'll get some good references.

    You describe such black and white thinking that keeps JW's where they are. "Us against Satan" "Good against Bad".

    Just sit back, take some deep breaths and do some research. I'm sure you'll stumble across what you'll need to help you out. Hey, you found this site!

    Hugs,

    j2bf

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    Yikes, how did I double post? Sorry.

  • DJ
    DJ

    WELCOME Redneckgurl,

    Everything that you said and more I (and most of us) have felt, thought or been through. It's terrible. You need to do some more research and if you'd like to when you are ready read the bible w/o the literature from the watchtower interpreting it for you. Read Romans because it is very simple to understand. Buy a new bible, one that isn't tainted w/ words in brackets! Compare the bibles and use your interlinear. You will be amazed. Keep up the research on the internet. Check it.....yes God gave you eyes and a brain and a heart that can see hypocrisy. Pray........that was a tough one for me at first. I wasn't sure how or even who to pray to anymore! Then I read Matt. 11:28, read it! I wondered how I could do what it said there if I wasn't supposed to.........??? Then I did and I have never turned back. He will teach you. You don't need man to teach you. That is the purpose of the holy spirit. Ask and you shall receive. Read Ephesians slowly, don't you see? I exited w/o the internet but you don't have to! Use it. You are not turning your back on your creator, you need to divorce the watchtower from God. They are wrong and have been forever. They are misled and twisted. Yes, celebrate the birth of your children. They are the fruit of your womb. Be thankful, be rejoiceful. These are good things.

    I know exactly what you are going through. It's torture. You probably wonder if it will ever get better but trust me please, it will get better. It takes TIME. It is frightening and painful and I understand completely. I had all of the same thoughts. It is a transition and you have been taught since you were a little girl these things. It is a form of brainwashing. I used to get so angry when people said that I was in a cult. I thought that they were so stupid and of course evil. It seems so strange now to me that I couldn't see that I was brainwashed. The longer you are out the better you will get. Do your research. Just pick a topic and search on this site or check out www.freeminds.org That sight helped me tremendously and then I came here. I wish you all of the best my friend, hang tough. You are in for a ride but keep your chin up. It will get better in time. That's a promise. Seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened...remember? Right now, you are a little lost sheep in search of the truth and the truth is Jesus and he will set you free. Take care and be strong. Love to you, Dj

  • berylblue
    berylblue

    Welcome!

    I am going through some of what you are experiencing. I do feel your pain and confusion, and I'm ready to listen anytime you'd like to talk.

    Beryl

  • Swan
    Swan

    Welcome Redneckgurl!

    I hope you find the answers you are seeking here.

    Tammy

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Welcome to the board, redneckgurl!! If you stick around here long enough, you'll find answers to all the questions you asked and many more. This is a great place for support. It helped me a great deal two years ago, and now I want to lend that same support to others like you!!

    You asked, did Satan make your churchgoing friends and acquaintances seem nice to fool you and drag you away from the "true" religion? I'd say that's what the JW's would want you to believe, that anything that looks or feels nice from outside the JW realm is from Satan. Since I decided never to return to JW's, I have found so-called "worldly" people to be so kind and helpful and even forgiving. Not everyone is good, but you have good and bad eggs both inside the JW's and also out in the world in general. People are people, struggling to get along, trying to help each other as they go, in general. So NO -- people are just being real, being themselves. And that's okay!!

    It's actually the WT Society teaching that are fooling you and dragging your mind away from the truth -- and I don't mean "truth as taught by the Watchtower society". I mean truth as in reality. Any religion or group whose primary modus operandi is to make you feel weak or unworthy so as to goad you into further work for that same group is totally sick. The WT Society uses the classic "carrot and stick" method to motivate its rank-and-file. The carrot being the "new world" which is perpetually around the corner but has failed to come in each of the 20 or so dates that they have prophesied it to occur. And of course the "stick" is used to beat you into thinking you're not quite good enough or you need to do more, in contrast to Matthew 11:28 which I think was cited earlier, where Jesus said his load was light and refreshing. Nothing light or refreshing about spending your life trying to please a bible-publishing society for whom no effort is ever quite enough, spreading an insanely hateful message (y'all are gonna die and we're not) to an unwilling audience. Not to mention all the controversy that the Society has embroiled itself in recently with UN involvement, inconsistency on the blood issue, and harboring pedophiles within the organization all the way up to the highest ranks. Keep reading this board and www.freeminds.org and eventually you'll find out what I mean by all of this.

    I WANTED it (the WTS teachings) to be the truth. I tried to make it work all my life up till age 39. But after a certain point of banging your head against a brick wall, you just stop and say this isn't worth it any more. If you have started to feel this way, you are in good company.

    I hope to hear more from you & again, welcome.

    -- JEFF

  • Pistoff
    Pistoff

    WELCOME, redneckgurl!

    The things I can recommend: Take it slow; trust your own feelings, they are valid.

    Ask yourself: Is a vengeful, angry God really what you envision when you close your eyes?

    If you were him, would you destroy someone who worshipped just a little differently?

    These were issues that took my mind and heart out of the small box they were in and into some peace of mind and freedom.

    I do not fear God at all anymore. And I don't think he wants me to walk around feeling guilty about not keeping all the rules that the org has for us. They don't call them rules, but that is what they are.

    WELCOME!!!

    BTW, I am an "active" witness; I go to about 50% of the meetings, very occasional service.

    But my mind is free free free.

    I am there for my family, who I am trying to help realize some things.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    Does Satan make those supposed "loving christian neighbors" of mine seem nice to swerve me from the "truth" and those fake warm people?

    Someone once asked Sigmund Freud if there was any hidden (sexual) meaning to his cigar smoking. He replied, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

    Maybe your neighbors are nice because they are good and decent people. By the way, didn't Jesus say the whole world could tell his followers because they showed love towards others. Who does and who doesn't?

    Welcome!

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