I came in to say something similar as Lisa just did. Be very wary going forward - many members of this forum are people that married an exJW and had children with them only to watch as the cult recaptured their spouse (and sometimes their kids). It's not uncommon for JWs to leave the cult for one reason or another (usually love, but sometimes they'll leave to escape other restrictions) but never truly understand how they were controlled, and what it really is. Unfortunately this condition often leads to these people returning to the cult during a stressful time (new or failed relationships, birth of a child, death of a family member, relocation, etc). To prevent this, it's important that you have a very honest and frank discussion with him about what he thinks of JWs. Is there any part of him that thinks it might still be "the truth" or does he know it's a cult? Don't accept anything less than certainty that he will never go back. If he gives you this certainty, you should ask for his reasons. You want the reasons for him not going back to have absolutely nothing to do with you. His reasons should be some subset or combination of the ones below (there are others, but they're probably less common and more minor)
- It's an overly controlling doomsday cult that is full of hypocrisy
- It has made many false predictions of the coming of armageddon
- It has caused the unnecessary death of tens of thousands of people by pressuring members to reject life-saving medical treatment
- It continues to put children at risk through it's policies around child sexual abuse
- Its policies on shunning break apart friendships and families and are tantamount to emotional blackmail
- Its leadership generally lies and cheats whenever convenient
- It is an organization obsessed with money, and money only flows up to benefit the leadership and those close to them.
- It uses unethical means of manipulation to control and retain its members
- And, bottom line, there is absolutely no way that it is "the truth" nor could it possibly be "god's organization" nor could it ever have been.
These are the sorts of logical, factual reasons that you need to hear to be sure that he will not eventually want to go back, and want you to go with him. If at that time you have children, he'll do his best to indoctrinate them as well. If his reasons are emotional or personal (he was never happy as a JW, he loves you and you're more important, someone in the cult hurt his feelings and made him mad, etc) then that's an ok starting point, but you need to get him to start reading sites like jwfacts.com, jwsurvey.org, this forum and others. Steve Hassan's books (www.freedomofmind.com) are also informative on how cults in general work and that would also go a long way to helping him to understand what's been done to him and why it's not his fault that he was fooled for as long as he was.
In the end, if he refuses to look at any of that information on JWs and fails to agree with what it is, then my best advice for you is to move on. Continuing the relationship would be putting yourself in an extremely risky situation, practically begging for future heartbreak and turmoil. It's painful advice, but it's much easier to move on now than when you have children with him and he's trying to indoctrinate them into a cult that also happens to be a breeding ground for pedophiles.
I'm aware that what I'm saying here will probably seem extreme, but it pains me to see people get wrapped up in this horrible cult if they could've avoided it with the right information at the right time. I wish you nothing but happiness and the best of luck. Hopefully when you talk to him he'll show that he already understands that it's a false cult and you two will be able to move on together (and hopefully he'll be more forthcoming about things in the future, since it seems he's concealed this from you for some time).
