I need to ask a question...

by nightwarrior 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • nightwarrior

    After reading Flowers posting about her brother, it really got me thinking (a dangerous occupation with me) LOL, what is it about the JWs, that when you are in the org, you feel that you are in the'right religion', and then wham, something happens, to make you realise that things are not so rosey as you were first led to believe.

    So my point is.. When you leave the 'org' you feel such great relief, as if a burden has been lifted from your shoulders, and that you feel that at long last (as in my case) you can really develop a good relationship with our Creator..

    But, if it were the 'true religion' surely we would feel downhearted and oppressed in leaving, and really we would not want to leave at all, as all things would be made clear to us, and we would feel happy again, but that is not the case.

    I hope that this makes sense. As at the moment my mother and sisters are still not speaking to me, it has now been a month, and the tatic I know, is that by (hopefully) ignoring me, I will come to my senses and return to the fold, and maybe even leave my sweet talking evil slave class husband!! (yeah right). The thing is though, I actually like 'me' now, and I feel that I have been under oppression for so long, that life is now for me to live with my immediate family, and not having to worry about what others may say. Believe it or not, even though I have mentioned my mother and sisters, I have not once been tempted to call them (which is highly unusual for me as we are all close), and I feel not a sense of remorse.

    So I feel great. what about you??

    Mrs Nightwarrior


    Hi Nightwarrior.

    When I first left the WTBTS, I was NOT a happy camper, in fact I was quite distraught, depressed and suicidal.

    It took me many years to get over my exit.

    Honestly, I feel/know that it is the psychological binds that make us sad 'leaving' as opposed to it being claimed to be the 'true religion'. The tactics used to keep people entrenched in that religion are well documented, and well...we can all share our very own stories.

    Thank goodness, with the internet and groups/forums like this, we can ASK questions, SEEK answers, and not feel MARKED or GUILTY for it.

    This forum has assisted me in finding resolve and has definitely made my days as lately: reassuring!

    Good question Nightwarrior. Hope all is well with you otherwise .

  • ApagaLaLuz

    I think so much of it has to do with your situation in life, and when you became a Jehovah's witness. I have seen many, who were living terrible lives, they were unhappy, and not the greatest people in the world. I watched them start to study the bible, and make dramatic changes in their lives that were genuinely positive for them. Of course this can happen with any other religion as well.

    I on the other, was raised in it virtually from birth. I knew no other life. I thought mine was as happy as I would ever get, and that made me sad, because I wasnt that happy. I was taught that leaving "the truth," would bring nothing but sadness and bad situations. I had nothing to compare it to, I didn't know any better.

    Even when I first left, I was still waiting for the 'world to eat me up,' as I had been told. The 'what if questions' that came along as part of growing up and becoming an adult were killing me. I figured I had to take a chance and learn my lesson one way or the other. When I eventually began to experience the true hapiness that life can offer outside the JWs, it reinforced that I HAD made the right decision. And I am truely thankful that I grew enough guts to do it.

    Leaving that 'cult like' religion takes alot of courage that ALL of us should be proud of ourselves for.

  • calamityjane

    I totally agree with you.

    I know they try the tactic that if they have nothing to do with you, ignore you in shopping malls, that you are going to come to your senses and come back. Not going to Happen. As this attitude proves to me the lack of love that they do have.

    Yes, I've lost my parents and brother and his family, they are still in, but I truly feel I am happier and more fulfilled. If they called me up one day to see me, I'd say sure, as long as it wasn't for an alterior motive. I'd open my arms to them if they truly wanted to come back into my life, with unconditional love.

    I get along better with my husband, we have a closer relationship than ever, my kids are happy because they have true friends, and when I see the circle of friends they have, it makes me smile, because I know these friends that they are growing up with now, will be true friends in old age, something that we have been robbed of of our childhood friends. Why would I want to go back.

    cj of the not looking back class.

  • Dansk

    Excuse me, CJ, but aren't you looking back in your photograph?!

  • Francois

    You're right on the the right groove. Keep it there. So many are not so lucky as they have been so thoroughly brainwashed by the WTBTS very effective techniques. I think they study brainwashing techniques between daliances with girls in pigtails.

    Keep on keepin' on. I did. I figured that if my family loved me so little as to shun me for using my god given intelligence, they didn't love me very much. Agape means "unconditional love" not the highly conditional kind the JWs practice.


  • free will
    free will

    i understand your dilemna - i'm there myself. no shunning yet, as i haven't been df or da'd. but, if you feel good - go with it.

  • Mutz

    I felt the real freedom of living outside the WT control everytime I missed a meeting. When I went on holiday and didn't spend eons searching out the local congregation so I didn't 'miss any meetings'. Life is for living and not for spending in a constant state of fear waiting for God to destroy the world. Constant reminders that we might not even get through to the new system from the self-righteous. Worrying about questions like "Have I done enough???" Blah, what a bloody waste of a time. I've lost count of the older jw's I have seen die in this system after decades of waiting for the end. There is a beautiful world and a full life outside the shackles of witnessdom, all we have to do is make the choice to go and find it!

  • topanga

    i've seen married men quite literally physically chasing young sisters around the hall in front of their long suffering wives.

    its strange but when you stay focused on scripture you become quite certain they are not "it" so don't feel guilty. Remember jesus said you would not find him in temples or houses constructed by men, so you are not bound by any organization. You are a free person in christ and they will be jealous of your freedom and attack you because they are brainwashed and stuck in what they themselves call a scam. All I've heard since i started studying is complaining from bethelites and witnesses saying they know they don't have the truth. It's confusing but im starting to see them as more of a corporate entity than anything else.

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