"Marked" for association with "worldly guy"
My Best friend has recently been "marked" for associating with a "worldly guy" what advice can you give me to pass onto her? I am not a JW, never been one, so looking for guidance. Thank you in advance.
My very close relative is in exactly this situation.
The family's decision? To politely but point-blank refuse to "meet with the elders" to discuss the relationship.
Boy, are those elders really screwed up now!! Their "power & authority" has been exposed as nothing but a bubble to the congregation.
The sheep in that K.H. now know that the elders cannot force anyone to sit in the same room as them!
Tell your friend to do the same - "Thank you for asking, but there's nothing personal which I want to discuss with anyone at the moment. I appreciate your motives. Goodbye"
Thank you for the feedback, do you know where the biblical backing for this treatment comes from? In my mind this is emotional abuse.
I was unaware that you could be marked for that, i'm just looking at the organized to do Jehovahs will book pg 150, it says nothing there about that. It says I quote "grossly lazy or critical, being a profitless talker, meddler, scheming to take material advantage of others (so we should mark the WTBTS) indulging in entertainment that is clearly improper". that's it, no mention of having worldly friends, did I miss something here. Is there some kind of new ruling going on. Anon, I would suggest you give your friend jwfacts, JWsurvey, Freedom of mind resource center, AAWA2014 & other web sites to look out. Then stand well back while the penny drops.
Anon, there is no biblical backing to justify the MARKING for the reason provided. Jesus associated with whomever he wanted or felt necessary to do so. People appointed by a centrally led authority to operate a congregation do not have any biblical authority over the people in the congregation. I mean, if the bible was followed, such people who are called elders (or bishops) should have been selected from and appointed by the members of the congregation. Their role would be, according to the bible, to support the members and see that all things are done in a nice, orderly way. They are not the master over the members, not their judges. The congregation as a whole is responsible for maintaining it "clean", ALL of them, not via a few people who believe they are h judge of the congregation.
My advice to this lady: either accept the rules of the Watchtower (including all the rules in the congregation) or leave.
The Shepherding the Flock Book instructs the Elders to mark the person
Example-mark for dating an "unbeliever": The elders should first counsel and try to help a disorderly one. If a person persists in a way that is disturbing and that has the potential for spreading, they may conclude that there would be reason for a warning talk to be given to the congregation.-2 Cor. 6:14; 2 Thess. 3:11, 14; w99 7/15 p. 3l. ...3. If the disorderly one becomes ashamed of his ways and is moved to change, then as elders of the congregation see the adjustment, they can individuaUy dedde to end the limitation they have put on personally sodalizing with him. This will indicate to the congregation that he is no longer marked.
Methinks your friends "associating with a worldly guy" is actually "dating a worldly guy".
@freddo - haha I was thnking the same "associating"
Menrov said - "The congregation as a whole is responsible for maintaining it "clean", ALL of them, not via a few people who believe they are the judge of the congregation."
Exactly what the Bible says - as opposed to the Org's perverted kangaroo courts which consist of "3 wolves in sheep's clothing."
(Matthew 18:15-17) "Moreover, if your brother commits a sin...........If he does not listen to them, speak to the congregation.
(1 Timothy 5:20) "Reprove before all onlookers [within the Christian congregation] persons who practice sin, that the rest [of the congregation] also may have fear."
Unfortunately there is not much you or your friend can do.
The system of being marked, disfellowshipped or disasociated are set up in a way that is impossible to fight.
When specific behaviour (having a wordly friend) is discussed as bad in a talk. Any JW who knows a JW displays that behaviour, will stop socializing with them until they stop their bad behaviour. They will still talk to them in the kingdom hall tho, but preferably just to encourage them to give up their bad behaviour.
When disfellowshipped or disasociated, a announcement is made: "X is no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". Now all good JWs will never talk to X again unless they repent and are offficially reinstated, or when X is a close relative and important family matters come up.
As you can see, being marked means less socializing from JW.
To fight this, your friend should either give up their wordly friend and be 'unmarked' (so JW blackmailing worked) or try to convince selected JW friends to ignore her being marked, and still socialize with her.
Or she could recognize this really is a controlling cult that doesn't let her make her own decisions, and walk away.
I recommend her the last option.
As a real friend, stay with her, she needs it. Ask her who show real friendship: the JW friends that ignore her when they are told to do so? Or wordly friends that are friends regardless of her personal choices? Who shows greater love?
No need to pressure her into answering. The idea is to make her think. Really think.
Btw I assume she is marked for having a wordly boyfriend, not just a friend?