How to Overcome Programmed Fear by JWs
As JWs we were programmed with rules to no end. We even had rules for what to do when the rules we knew did not apply to new situations. This constant diet of rules upon rules created our mental map that for many is still deeply ingrained below conscious awareness and still operating even though we are no longer JWs.
For many persons exiting who grew up as JWs or spent many years in the religion, they quickly develop an awareness of how they are lacking many social competencies to live in a dynamic and constant changing world. Some of the symptoms although not limited to these are:
- Being antisocial by not fully participating in-group activities at work, social gatherings, or college.
- Being afraid to take necessary risks in finding a better job, a new or better personal relationship, going back to college or some technical training.
- Moving to a new city to accept a promotion or some job related opportunity to advance your job, career, or improve the quality of life.
- Being overly preoccupied with the current Iraqi war.
- Being very judgmental of non-JWs lifestyle, actions, values and beliefs even though logically you know that it’s a dumb thing to do.
- Having a pervasive deep feeling that you just don’t belong anywhere, you feel like an alien in a foreign planet.
Currently I am teaching emotional intelligence competency trainings (EI) for companies, agencies and at the local university. In one class recently, I had one man who outscored me on an EI test, significantly. The paradox is that this man was ordered by his employer to take this training due to his conflictive personality. After I got to know this individual’s hierarchy of values, his upbringing, and current career, I understood his flawed behavioral patterns. This man is very successful in what he does as a broker in land acquisitions to put up energy wind turbines. The problem is that he is lacking empathy in how he treats his support office staff. While this incident made me very aware of how I am not a very social person, I am very comfortable with whom I am at this time in my life. Moral of the story is nothing is a problem unless it’s a problem.
So what do you do if you are having serious problems with point #2?
This condition is due to your mind accessing programmed fear while being a JW. Cognitive approaches to overcome this fear for the most part seldom work. In order to break through “real imaginary fears” you need to access the fear and then do something to recondition the body to over ride the mental program or circuit. I broke through many of my fears through my technical training in NLP. While this approach works wonders the average person does not have the money or time or both to do this. I have personally done and taught ropes courses and this is one approach I highly recommend. I used to think fire walks were hokey but now am a firm believer due to the concept of cellular learning of accessing and using states of empowerment. Things like skydiving, I am sure also function just as well.
I am also a firm believer in taking continuing education classes at the local college or university where you may do a lot of experiential learning. Remember the objective is to chain your state of fear into one of total and complete congruence to do something you want. This is a state of being unstoppable and it’s a state the JWs did not want you to have. If you think about junior high and high school, many states of empowerment could have been programmed into your neurology through competitive sports. Being raised in the JW bubble you have to fill in those gaps or competencies you are now lacking. One analogy is this; imagine skipping several years of school or failing them and ending up in college lacking key courses. In order to be accepted you need a certain score on an entrance exam. If your score is unacceptable you will need to take remedial courses to make up for the lack of knowledge. Life is like that; if you are lacking certain competencies to play the game of life, better work on it, ASAP to avoid being doomed to a life of quiet desperation.
You can read further in this article I wrote years ago soon after exiting JWs.
"No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.
Very interesting points! I wonder if some on this might be a little esoteric for the average person? One of my problems as a J-dud was the fact that I never supported the partyline about education. I always took courses and went to seminars, met Tony Robbins and Bill Cantrel(sp). I"ve been Coveyized and done the Napolean Hill courses. Gone through a Dale Carnige program and taken profiling classes. The witness masters looked down on all of that. By comparison the Elder and Servant school were, 'see stop run classes'! In Mensa we have RG's were there are lectures from the JPL or reps from the Huble Space Program or Mars Explorer. I agree with your reasoning. I just think few people know what Neuro Linguistic Programming is. Hopefully I am wrong, Maverick
I hear ya. I have blasted through most wt fears.
Remember the objective is to chain your state of fear into one of total and complete congruence to do something you want.
Could you explain this a bit? I can't get it.
Another thing, after all old stuff is demolished, how can a person resurrect ambition, in other words 'build' something new? Thanks.
There is nothing esoteric about losing your fear. Please explain what "average people" would not understand?
It is human nature to be fearless. A child does not know the concept of fear. The only feas a child knows when they are newborn infants are, bright lights, loud noises, and sensation of falling. Programmed fear from the JWs is nothing but mental crap. We sat throught years of social hypnosis (the meetings) where we were conditioned time and again to have a very warped view of ourselves, others, the world, and God. In order to change a person needs to identify what needs changing, own up to their issue, and find ways that work to change it. It's that simple! Why spend the rest of your life in therapy, or on ex JW sites to try and change significant emotional states that will only change unless you can provide your neurology with a counter example to choose the state to you into under fear (real or imagined) inducing situations? While I was still a JW I conducted ropes courses for many JWs. The transformation was awsome to see how these people evolved and learned to access those empowering states they experienced. Conclusions; we need to access more childlike states that are the true essence of who we are. When you clear all the programmed JW, family, cultural, and relationships, crap you are left with more pure states of who you really are. The challenge for many is that they are lazy and they would rather have others provide that magical pill for them to change or feel better. Those of you that disagree with my opinion I sugest you read the book by Richard Bach "Illusions" Confesions of a Relucant Messiah.
I overlooked your question of chaining states. We live out lives from one trance state to another, thus fear is simply a trance state. For JWs and former JWs this is an unconsious programmed trance state among others. So in order to break that state or collapse that particular circuit a person needs to provide a counter circuit for the neurology to provide a choice. The mind will always choose the most powerful and plesure seeking circuit once it has a choice. By nature we are pleasure seeking beings. The problem with most people is that they have a very limited or impovrished map and the mind can only access what is there. My point is JW garbage in ----emotional garbage out.
I will look at the book. I think i understand.
Thank you very much for this post. It is very timely. I will definitely read your article.
LOL! I have taken a couple of courses in NLP (i've been very lax in using them all - that's going to change!) One class was a ropes course. Though some of your pictures were dark, I did recognize the last pic. In our class, the last challenge of the day was to climb a 30 foot telephone pole and jump off! You could either jump and try to catch a trapeze like swing, representing your goals, or just jump. Its a very interesting experience! I just jumped! Of course there trained facilitators and you were in protective gear. But once I hit ground, I felt an imediate release. I would do it again.
Darn my pic is a little red X now... Wha happan?
Jumping from 30 feet high?!?!?! You know that amuzement park ride that takes you up a few feet and drops you straight down? I can't bring myself to try it... I have gotten on every other ride but I can't bring myself to get on that ride because I hate the feeling of having my stomach in my throat for any amount of time.
Is there anything else I can do? Does rock wall climbing really work?