FMF: A Wake Up Story

by freemindfade 27 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    "but why need to have such a strict prohibition. How could apostates be so powerful to convince you this isn’t the truth."

    So true! I used to wonder about that - but meekly obeyed and avoided the "apostates" info.

  • millie210

    Your story is so well told and so honest.

    It is easy to follow the sequence of events from then to now.

    I suspect that someone just starting to wonder is going to read this and find a bit of themselves in your words.

    That will give them hope and courage.

    Heck, it gives ME hope and courage!

    I had to pause and reflect when I read this line from your post,

    I didn’t think there were any more levels of waking up for me.

    That is good for me to ponder, the idea that there are many levels, one of which I am on now.

    Thank you for sharing your journey so patiently and step by step

  • Oubliette

    FMF: This brother who serves in the same hall as the GB was asked to never come back to our hall again. When I say he was insane, I am not making hyperbole. He was nuts, he said crazy things.

    Great story! Thanks for sharing.

    Could you elucidate on your comment above? Some specifics would be entertaining.

  • Mary J Blige
    Mary J Blige

    "The power of the apostates..."

    Back in the day I thought my fear of apostate sites was my hyper bible trained conscience in action. Didn't realise that was ingrained fear through cult mind control and not my conscience at all!

    The big J is watching and sees everything! For a child, that's a pretty massive deal. As an exjw, it's crazy - all the things that you thought you knew and understood, that you justified, that you learn over and realize how deluded and twisted the angles were.

  • Illuminated

    I think it comes down to intuition (gut instinct - internal compass) that sends out signals which is denied by lower levels of the mind (programming). Our internal compass always carries the truth. A lot of us have learned not to trust it, and even more so with heavier programming.

    I'm glad you're out.

  • kairos

    Thanks for the experience.
    Many components rang true with mine.

    When you realize you've been duped, it's very hard to deny it any more.

    Overlapping Generations instead of "Millions Now Living Will Never Die" started the ball rolling for me.

    I also was inactive and resigned as a MS before I got the "courage" to look at "apostate web sites" on the internet. This is interesting and ties into the idea of information control or prohibition or certain things. When in field service, we were expected to converse with anyone and everyone. ( apostates live in the territories ) The only time we would turn away was if the householder said they were DF'd or apostate. So scary!!

    Now I'm DF'd for "admitted apostasy".
    ( local legend )

    My advice to all that are unsure what to do: stay home and research.
    If you can no longer convince yourself that it's "the truth", then quit.

    Hardest decision. Best outcome.

  • stuckinarut2

    Great Thread topic!

    I agree. It does not need to be an "apostate" site that makes people wake up.

    I woke up after doing sincere and in depth research IN THE SOCIETIES OWN PUBLICATIONS and the bible itself!

    That, combined with good old fashioned "common sense" and "analytical reasoning skills" is all that is needed.

    Oh and sharing specifics that made an impact on us personally, is not usually best, as each person will find a different point that hits them the it's usually best to simply say "do your own in depth research" if anyone asks.... (Plus that proves that we are NOT trying to subvert their minds)

  • Oubliette
    stuckinarut2: It does not need to be an "apostate" site that makes people wake up. I woke up after doing sincere and in depth research IN THE SOCIETIES OWN PUBLICATIONS and the bible itself!

    Same for me. In fact, I never visited an "apostate" sites until years after I woke up on my own!!!

    Nothing is as damning to the WTBTS as their own publications.

  • dhlpcjw

    I enjoyed hearing your experience of waking up. I could definitely relate to some of the things you went through. One thing was viewing apostasy as something scary but also the last major violation of the rules. I remember for a long time telling myself that no matter what I would never read apostate material and being terrified at the thought. I remember my hands trembling the first few times I began researching the organization on the internet.

    But I feel as though eventually my distrust and anger at the organization built to the point that it was finally stronger than my fear. Tony Morris also played a role in that for me. I heard him give a talk at the International convention where the things he said caused rage to well up in me.

    In retrospect I'm so glad Tony is marketing himself as Rutherford 2.0. I think he's causing a lot of people to question the credibility of "God's Earthly channel".

  • SecretSlaveClass
    Your thought process was and is sound. Thankfully there are people like you who like to think for themselves. Well conveyed !

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