Rainy Days & Monday Mornings
Where abouts are you in the UK?
Do you have a hotmail A/C ? You could e-mail me if you like.
I am in the UK also.
I am forty-one years old and still remember not being able to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings. It used to really gripe my butt. Then after I got married and moved to a very small congregation in WV. Sometimes the weather would get really bad, and my ex-husband would insist we still go to the book study which he conducted, and no one would show up, he would insist on studying anyway. Drove me crazy.
Now I live for the weekends so Thinker and I can be together. Doesn't make me feel guilty at all.
Interesting how we all go through the same emotions though.
Interesting how we all go through the same emotions though.
This is one of the things I came to realize in the last few years before I left, that EVERYONE deep down inside feels the same when they are honest.
Very few felt the service was the "joy" that it was made out to be. Most were exausted and tired of the routine and a public talk speaker no-show or a cancelled meeting due to weather were a welcome relief.
Of course, it was not everyone or everyone all the time that would admit they felt that way. Only in those brief moments of honesty when you could draw an elder away from the "herd" or over a few drinks would the real feelings come out.
Most of the time people were just acting and pretending they were happy and comfortable with the routine. The long faces when a speaker didn't show up only were to hide the joy inside that u were walking out into the sunshine an hour early that Sunday.
And this is why so many have mental/emotional issues. We were always acting and pretending. Everything was for public consumption. "Put on a good show for them." When u can't be real, and you can't be yourself and when you feel like you are the only one that feels this way, then you get problems.
How was your hall if a talk got cancelled ? There was almost a cheer went up at ours if a speaker didn't show and we only had an hours meeting...
You think that's bad.....
I used to get all "Excited" if one of my children came
down with a cold or fever....!!! Now that was terrible
on my part....but, "GEE"...we got to STAY HOME..from
the meeting..who knew, maybe two...
We had the BS in our home also...I Hated it...the "Sisters"
would practically "white glove" the place for dust, and such.
I mean, it was clean, but, they acted like it had to pass
inspection...UGH..!! And they Always, Always showed up.
They also met here for Sat. morning service.... Never got to
sleep in... we had the "Hard Core" service ones in our
group. "BUT NOW" I just love week-ends...!!!!!
When I was a kid, I would wait until about 9 on Saturday mornings, and get in the shower. I had long hair, and we didn't have blow dryers in the 50's either. Mom would come in and yell at me "what do you think you are doing?" We had the meeting for service at our house at 9:30. I had other ways of getting out of it too. Now I feel so badly because my kids are telling me things they did to get out of it. My second son, who is now 35, said that he would be sleeping on Saturday mornings, when he was a teenager, and would look at the clock and it would be about 8:45 AM. He would tell his older brother, that "we must not be going out today", and the big bro would say, "any minute now.....just wait." And I would yell through the heat register to them downstairs, that they had better be getting up. And they would just get heart sick. Now, that is sad. Makes me feel just awful. Now, weekends are my favorite!! We had NO life before. The weekends were completely taken by "theocratic activity". Now I do anything I want to, and the best thing is sitting in the living room in my robe, as long as I want to, drinking coffee, and no one is coming to interrupt my day. YAY!!! Freeeeee!!!
Nobody here put the thermometer on a lightbulb every week to simulate a fever??
My mother put my in a tub packed with ice one time because it was 107!!
I asked her recently why she never caught on to the fact that I hated going to the hall because I tried that trick almost every other Tuesday!!
or the old pour a can of vegetable soup in the toilet to simulate throwing up?
. o O (slipnslidemaster)
At a fuggy bible study group
An aged rambling one
Warming to his subject
Of sex in Christendom
Rocks one who does her pre-study
Whom no one seems to hear
To sleep with old neuroses
Petals falling from her hair
A personal recollection which you might identify with. Ha.
This is so great to read how you all felt about meetings and service. I grew up constantly feeling like my spirituality was on a rollarcoaster. I had my moments of actual theocratic feelings but most of the time I felt like the rest of you have expressed...like:
-the joy of the blizzard or thunderstorm keeping us from service or meetings
-getting sick on Tuesdays or Sundays or Sat.mornings or pretending to sleep in
-having the bookstudy at our house and hoping no one would show up
-and feeling glad when the speaker didn't show up (except we were always expected to go out in service for that hour "to take advantage of the situation for good"
-and even feeling glad I could stay home with sick kids
How great it is to know that I was not the only one that felt that way, that so many "really deep down inside feels the same when they are honest" as Pathofthorns said.
I can't count the number of times I was made to feel guilty by my ex-husband elder, that other sisters went to the hall sick or other sisters took their sick kids to the hall. Remember hearing this?...What's the point of staying home if you're sick or have a headache, you might as well sit through the meeting sick or with a headache as staying at home feeling the same way.
This is just what I needed to hear to help to bury those old memories of the guilt trips.
Thanks for adding to this great thread. I feel so much better every day.
Had Enough (of the guilt, control, hypocrisy and so on and so on....)