Once upon a time there was a set of siamese twins, who looked nothing alike, had never been conjoined, had been born to different parents, and in different years. But they never let this get them down. Their albino glow is what held them together, and kept them separate from the world.
The Albino Siamese Twins were put in a travelling freak show.
They spoke their own language. One which was strange to outsiders, but their constant clicking, gurgling, and squealing, and occasional outbursts of "Oh hey ya!" inspired those who came to view them to laugh and laugh. The laughter was especially rolicking when adult beverages were disseminated among the crowd.
They were so sweet. So innocent. So unaware of what lie ahead for them...
One day a strange man came to the freak show.
Captain Scrumpy Jack was his name. He told the girls of a far off land, where there was a devilish prince.
This dark prince drank only from his magical Slippy Cup. It was rumored only black magic poured from those Slippy Cups. Many began to call them Slippy Cups of Doom!
The midgit poodle-headed one was far more intrigued than alarmed. The old proverb, "never trust a midgit with red hair" was never more true in this case children. Take heed!
She went out and purchased her very own Slippy Cup from a mysterious gypsy woman.
The gypsy tried to warn the midgit albino of the dangers that come from drinking from a Slippy cup, but she could not be put-off.
She chortled in glee, and proceeded to pound down the magical fire water.
And the thunder clouds began to gather!
"Come, my Sasquatch Twin...you must try this...it's the poo! Take a wiff!"
How could she say "Nay" to her Siamese Albino Twin? Plus it did look rather fun. The lighting flashed in the sky while her pale hand clasped the slippy cup.
She drank the golden liquid of fire. And lo, it was good!
A clap of thunder echoed across the land. Some say they heard a devilish laugh that night rolling about the hills and valleys.
It was only a matter of time really before things went down hill for the twins. Their behaviors became wild and unpredictable.
Tamborines and sausages...defiled and befouled!
Ramblings of goats, in coats, with boats were all the sasquaatch would talk about.
The midgit fared no better. Coconuts and alligator madness formed a vicious cyclical pattern...
Her only tales were of short-bus monkeys and the odd screech of "POOTIE" late in the night.
The horror of it all! I shant share with you children the other horrors of this doomed pair.
I only tell you this because I love you all.
Beware of men like Captain Scrumpy Jack, and the next time someone tells you a story of magical slippy cups and dark princes, (while your at it keep clear of gypsys with dental issues as well.) keep this tale of The Slippy Cup of Doom, firmly fixed in your mind, and it shall go well with you.