Send In The Moms!!!!!

by dottie 7 Replies latest social humour

  • dottie
    dottie

    Another email that I have recieved and thought it hilarious and something that I had to share

    Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have arrived in Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash?

    We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?

    I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective.

    So... considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats? My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And if he tried to lie to her, she'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad.

    He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole summer. Inspectors! You want the job done? Call my mother.

  • outnfree
  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    ROTFLMAO!!! So true.

    Didn't Rosanne used to say that only someone with a uterus can find things in a house!!!

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Yup, send in Rayzorblade's Mom...and actually, while you're at it, send in my grandmother as well.

    Those two would be grabbin' some of those boys by the scruf of the neck, and by the ear...out to the shed for a good lickin' - then off to their respective rooms, no supper.

    Then when that's done, gather up the ones who were hurt and desolate as a result: feed them, cloth them, hug them, help them get back on their feet.

    Yeah, send in the Moms.

    Who needs the U.N. - we need: M. O. M. (Mothers Opposed to Madness)

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Bwahaaaa! Good one dottie!

    Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap!

    That sounds like a job for xenawarrior.........she could singlehanded go in with her sword and do the job on Sadam! Go xw!!!!!

    joy2befree:

    Didn't Rosanne used to say that only someone with a uterus can find things in a house!!!

    Yeah Roseanne used to call the uterus a homing device.......I always loved that one!

    Katie (of the mother-snoop-dogie class)

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    This is so true. When my son was in Germany, , he had not called me in at least 3 weeks. i was worried sick..so i got on the internet, found his army base in Germany , found his sargent, and e-mailed him. I promptly received e-mail. Seems my son was out on a training sort of thing, where there was no was to comunicate with me. But apparetnly the sarge had a lape top and he got my e-mail . He let him send an e-mail then and there to releive my mind. My son said the sarge yelled his name in front of everyone" ***** call your mother!!!" they all laughed, but i got an e-mail and a call.

    From then on, my son called me promptly, even form a sheep field in Albania, where he was next stationed.(they used cells that they patched through from germany-don't ask me how)

    Moms know how to get action.

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    You rock, wednesday! Sometimes (but only VERY occasionally) I miss my mom the way she used to be before Alzheimer's, back when Big Tex nicknamed her "Darth Vader."

    Nina

  • wednesday
    wednesday
    Darth Vader."

    Nina

    funny, that IS what one of my sons call me. hell , i don't care -just as long as they CALL ME EVEN FROM A SHEEP FIELD IN ALBANIA,

    LOL BUT 100% TRUE

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