Yesterday dear sister Eyegirl (of the international sisterhood of apostate albino's, Northern Branch) Was visiting me. We just finished lunch and were about to rush out and see some R rated movies when the doorbell rang. Curious!
We peered out the window and the ever wise Eyegirl said "I think it's a witness mobile!" It was saturday morning after all--I can't believe I fell for it.
Unsure as to who it was for certain, I picked my way through the strewn boones farm bottles to make my way to the door, clad in my Betty Page t-shirt. (Why am I always dressed in questionable attire when the J-Dubs come?--At least it wasn't my Apostate Vixen t-shirt)
I opened the door to find Elder B. Out of all the elders at the last hall I attended he was one of my favorites. I assumed he was coming to say hello to my parents (and forgot they are not back yet from their vacation--YEAH RIGHT! Later I would find it was an ambush).
I smiled. We talked briefly of my parents trip to Florida, and then he said "well actually I came to talk to you."
Hmmm....to invite me to the memorial? OH HOW NAIVE I WAS!
Elder B: "Your parents have mentioned a few things to me in passing, and I would just like to come and talk to you. Elder D and myself actually...just to see where you are, how you're doing. See what's on your mind"
Me: (Nodding my head and smiling like an idiot savant...or just an idiot)
Elder B: "Elder D, his dad was an Apostate. So he actually came to the "truth" because he wanted to see why his dad was so upset with the Witnesses, and that led to a study with the Witnesses. So he has expressed an interest in talking to you...."
Me: (Thinking...why was the Apostate past mentioned? Why is he "expressing an interest in talking to me??...CURSE YOU PARENTS...(As some of you may recall...I confided in my parents my Apostate leanings. Hoping this would ease tensions between us, and they reaffirmed their love for me anyway. This was in January. Things have been smooth as glass since in our house. I thought we were at an understanding. I held my views they held theirs. Apparantly NOT! Apparantly they blabbed!!) http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/15/44838/1.ashx
Elder B: "I know I came into the truth later in life, much like your parents...so I couldn't really tell you anything different then they have, but I think Elder D will be able to answer a lot of questions you have. So is Monday good for you? We'd like to do it before you parents come home, and just meet with you."
Me: 'Yeah... I guess I can manage that"
Elder B: "Great...I'll give you a call Monday afternoon before we come over"
Me: (Feeling puketacular) "Great!"
In away, I am not afraid. I was never baptized. They can't do anything to me. But on the other hand, they can make my parents life a living hell for harboring an Apostate.
I don't want to talk to them about 1914, or Blood, or Child Abuse. I am not smart enough to talk about that stuff. I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE!! What is so hard about that for witnesses to understand?? Don't they know that by coming to talk to me, they "stir up the pot" and make life a hell for me and my parents. They aren't helping anything, it just makes me MORE antagonistic toward the witnesses.
I just want to say "Sorry guys, I am athiest now. So if you want to talk and show me proof you'll have to use something other than a Bible." They'll say. "Oh, well good for you little camper! Sorry we drove all this way out here."
BUT NO! It's never that easy. That won't be enough for them...and they're just gonna make me cry again..while I am home alone. I know I am technically an adult. But when I talk to Elders I feel like a four year old who has been caught with a crayon in my hand drawing on the wall.
I dunno what to do...any advice on how I should handle this? Keeping in mind a whirlwind course on dates, and quotes won't help me because it won't stick and I will come off sounding like even more of an idiot...
Think telling them I am an athiest will work? It's true. It's where I am at...what can they do to combat that?
ugh...I think it's time to call my parents and find out who the snitch was...*deep breath* here we go again...
Why can't it ever end? Why can't I ever move on?