A fresh start

by FormerlySandL 56 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joey jojo
    joey jojo

    Hi there.

    In your original thread, Tornintwo offered some excellent advice. Spend some time searching through the forums on this website.

    This site is a gold mine of logic, real-life experiences and scholarly reasoning that should be of benefit to anyone in your situation.

    Do some research here before you make any big life changes.

    There are a lot of us here who understand completely what it's like to realise that everything you thought was real, was only a dream.

  • cyberjesus
    You couldn't take the wt Cuz freedomof speech? What does that mean?
  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome back!

    I received your PM and sent you another before I saw your thread here.

    I am now trying to backtrack and play the depression card to buy me some time and limit the damage I've done in previous meetings with them.

    The depression card has worked very well for me. Being a JW is very depressing, let it all out to them. If the "brothers" want to talk to you, just keep telling them how sad you are about your JW life. How your entire identity and reason for believing has been stripped away by them removing you as an elder. After your years of slaving, they kicked you to the curb when you realized you were engaged to the wrong woman. They'll try to "give encouragement" and you can pretend to be a little encouraged. But then return to that same "depression", repeat, and repeat. So often it seems like most elders will avoid those who seem chronically depressed.

    I think it was actually therapeutic for me to attend the meetings and really show how really depressing the whole thing was... after decades of pasting on a smile at the meeting when I was tired, annoyed, and depressed. Even though I'm not depressed now, I still have that card ready to play. If anyone asks, "Don't you want to return?", I can simply respond, "Do you want me to kill myself like Xxxx did?"

    And any doubts that you've expressed, I'd suggest rewrapping them in the "a return visit told me about the JW pedophile scandal, WT false prophecies, etc." type of thing.


  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    You couldn't take the wt Cuz freedomof speech? What does that mean?

    Whenever an elder has a flaw in his personal life, the other elders can decide he doesn't have "freedom of speech", or some similar phrase. He can be removed from some of his responsibilities, or from his position as an elder.

    For example, an elder's kid gets in some kid of trouble. Then the other elders will meet to decide how serious it is, how well known it is, and basically it often comes down to whether they like the guy. They may remove him from some of his responsibilities, completely remove him as an elder, or they may do absolutely nothing.

  • mommyfirstandalways
    Welcome!! I missed all the drama since I don't log on as often as I would like to. Isnt it amazing how as long as u conform to jws standards and opinions u are accepted. I hope u didn't marry. I was married to a brother with mental illness for 12 years. I wanted to break off the engagement but was told I couldn't. This religion sickens me and I'm so thankful to spare my children. Make a new circle of friends. Could u join a gym or athletic club. I have made the best friends ever at my local gym. Or coworkers? U def need a support system and of course u have members in this site. This site helped me keep sane wen I first discovered ttat. U will be fine. U have the best years of ur life ahead of u bc u have allowed urself to stop being brainwashed.
  • cyberjesus
    When did you stepped down?
  • dubstepped
    Since we now have a new thread to do so on instead of the ridiculous responses from others here I just wanted to reach out and welcome you to the forum. Much respect for fighting through, being contrite, and not letting the haters keep you down. Move on and get help and be happy. Good for you.
  • jookbeard
    3 pioneer schools? thats quite some going, I thought most pioneers only do one.After my tremendous achievements as a Gilead missionary in North Korea, Somalia,Iran and Afghanistan and repeated attempts to attend yet another Gilead graduation I threw the towel in at 5.
  • problemaddict 2
    problemaddict 2

    Welcome. Looks like I missed something......but no worries. The board has all kinds here bud. Welcome.

    There is little to say about what you are going through. its an emotionally confusing time, and there is little to do other than go through the process. Its similar to the grieving process in my mind. There are stages to it that seem to mirror grieving is what I mean.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    3 pioneer schools? thats quite some going, I thought most pioneers only do one.

    Not sure of the latest, but you're invited again after you pioneer long enough. And I think if you learn another language.

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