I've been lurking around this site for a while, and I must say that it has been an enormous emotional aid. I have been inactive for about 8 months now, and recently turned in a letter of disassociation. My wife (thankfully) has been inactive for about 3 months or more. We were both raised in "the truth". Her parents have been inactive for a while now. (Thankfully.) My parents are a different story. My mom has been a pioneer for 17+ years, and my Dad has been an elder since I was little.
About a year ago, or so I started letting myself question why Jehovah allowed such horrible things to occur on earth. 9-11 was fresh in my mind, but the book that really got me was called, "The Rape of Nan King." It's a book about the treatment of a Chinese town during WWII by the Japanese. I started asking myself a lot of questions, and felt disenchanted with the standard replies. I imagined someone asking me these same questions at the door, and I would have no answer! Waiting for a New System to miraculously smooth over every injustice since Man's beginning just doesn't do it for me anymore.
Then I started questioning policies I always thought were ridiculous. Things like beards being socially inacceptable etc. Well I guess the fact that I was having all these doubts upset my Mom so much that she couldn't come visit my wife and I , and my Dad came to visit by himself. (THey live several hours away.) I was able to talk with him about this stuff that bothered me about the religion, after the standard answers that I've heard since I was 3, He ended the visit by saying he loved me, but I had to realize he needed to "protect his family". He told me they were servants of Jehovah and they would only associate freely with fellow worshipers of Jehovah. So that excluded the normal relationship we had before. I was amazed at how quick he was to sell me out for the religion. It hurt like hell.
I haven't seen them since. Recently I planned a visit alone but it was cancelled by my Dad at the last minute. "Sorry son, this is just too difficult for us right now." At that point I chewed him out. Bad. I had never talked to my father like this before. I feel bad about that conversation still.
Getting to the point, I mailed in my letter of disassociation this week and it feels wild. I feel really good about being so free, but a the same time horribly pained by the rejection by my folks. I am going to mail them a letter tonight telling them I am now Da'd. It feels like I'm writing them a suicide note. ugh..
Thanks for reading and all of your kinds responses to others..it has been very uplifting in this difficult time.