Now, I have been mentally "awake" for quite a while, but I'll just say March/April this year. I won't go into detail about what it was that made me "realize" everything, so don't bother asking.
So, I've known for years that I wasn't like most girls in my classes, kingdom hall, and just in general. From a very young age I had that obvious interest in the same sex, but seeing as I was seemingly the only one feeling that way I would brush it off and eventually I started getting interested in guys. I mean, always being told the same spiel of my classmates liking boys and kissing them and such kind of had worn off on me. Then, puberty happened.
Boy oh boy was this a confusing part of my life; hormones raging and new experiences... it was pure mayhem. (It still is mayhem seeing how I'm a teenager and going through this still, but I have to admit it was more intense as a preteen tbh; Life is hella confusing. But, back to the "story") So you could just imagine it, this 11-12 year old girl having a very difficult time putting herself in a label. Around this time, my feelings for the same sex had came back. Was it due to hormones or my changes in critical thinking, I'll never know, but it certainly ate at me for a while. I still had some partial feelings for guys, but anything past the "crush" thing made me uncomfortable if it was a guy; but low and behold, I wanted more than just a simple crush with a girl.
These feelings got so strong that I officially determined I wasn't Bisexual or Pansexual, but that I was Lesbian. (I hate saying Lesbian, I'd rather say "Gay" but I'm unsure why) Now, many people might love to quickly point out, "Oh, you weren't born that way! HAH! I knew it! All you do is choose this sinful and perverted way of thinking and lifestyle!" ~ Well, when you have the media constantly glorifying heterosexual relationships in TV, Movies, and even children's cartoons, you must admit it does condition young children to believe that is the norm. Luckily, we see more positive portraying of LGBT+ things and relationships and all forms of entertainment. However, even if it might have been a total roller coaster with me trying to find out who I was, that doesn't disprove my feelings. People today are sometimes just too quick to disprove something as silly as a person's own feelings, even when they aren't in their shoes.
So fast forward to a few days ago, the day when I came out for the first time to my sister.
Now, I thought very long and hard on how and what to say, or even if I should do it! I had second thoughts but I shook it off and mustered up the little courage I had. My sister had noticed I'd been feeling down, which to be honest I have been down since I'd realized this religion is a cult. She kept asking what was wrong like a loving big sis should, so I told her I'd tell her at home. I had realized she'd be moving out in at least a year, and I needed to make the most of it. Once she'd be out of the house I'd be left with a bratty but adorable little brother and a pain in the ass mom that I still admit I love. So, once we got home I decided to tell her when she was comfortable and able to listen. I said it very bluntly-
She was silent for the longest and most agonizing minute in my life. I was anticipating crying, or maybe her running out the room in shock, but she just sat there. She smiled the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen in my life and said she had an intuition that I was for a while. She hugged me and said for me to give her a little time, but that she would keep it a secret and that she still loved me. I cannot tell you how amazing it was to hear that from her; AND FROM A JW! She never said anything like,"You wont be in the paradise with me." or,"Just know Jehovah doesn't approve.", she just understood. Plus it's not like I'd believe those two phrases anyway. Lol.
So yeah it went pretty great. Any advice I'd like to give to fellow confused ones of their sexuality? Wait until you know for sure and when you're ready, then be smart on who you tell and make sure you trust them! ;3