New member

by New Order 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • New Order
    New Order

    Hello, I am a new member.

    I grew up in the JW religion; however I am not an active JW.

    Have been visiting this site for about 3 yrs, and have become quite attached to it. Check it constantly and received a ton of helpful information from your various posts.

    Background –from the Caribbean, now living in Canada 11+ yrs.

    I grew up with my grandmother (still alive) and her spouse (deceased) who were watchtower fanatics. Life as a child was totally watchtower. Their home was considered a kingdom hall. They (grandparents and children) were considered the publishers. Sunday meetings were held in the living room, as well as all the other meetings during the week. Circuit overseer would come to the home (twice per yr. I believe). Grandparents were not able to convert anyone in the community with all the hours they spent trying to sell books. They usually scrape to find money to send in to the “Society” to pay for mags and books. The home was overrun with mags/books, packed everywhere.

    Grandparents were generally abusive and thought by constantly trying to beat the devil out of the children was worship and pleasing God. The devil was in every nook and cranny, just waiting to get us. As a child not allowed to read any non JW books, no play, no friends, no Friday school, as these things were all from satan. (On Fridays, school would have activities, such as word/board games, or other outdoor activities; participating in these activities was a sin). Had to stay up late to study watchtower books and dragged out of bed at day break when the Roosters’ crow, for more worship and daily text. Grew up in an environment of constant fear. Grandparents were poor (farmers), did not have much, education was limited, so they were easily fooled by the paradise story. Grandma and her adult children still waiting on the promised paradise, and have not made any retirement plans because “Jehovah will provide”.

    At age 9 was sent to live with my mother and step-dad, another bunch of JW fanatics. The abuse was worse. Ended up receiving medical attention twice due to abuse. Eventually ran away at 17, after a rather brutal attack from my mother. Interestingly, while this abuse was going on, which was public knowledge, my JW relatives solution was that I should pray more and read the bible. No elder got involved, they did not care about me showing up at meetings with bruises, a black eye or swollen lips (some “sisters” would look at me and gossip about it, but no action). However, when I was about 15 my step-father told the elders I had a boyfriend (which was not true), and I was promptly taken to back room, and being interrogated by this creepy old elder, asking personal questions.

    I ran away to live with my father and his family (non JWs) and you would think that I finally got rid of this JW thing - Of course not! Instead, I found the nearest kingdom hall and started attending. My step- mom would criticize and say it was a cult (first time hearing the term used to describe JW), I cried and said she was making fun of Jehovah. In hindsight, should have asked her what she meant by cult. I was really brainwashed

    So, I have been out of the watchtower 20 yrs now, was dis-fellowshipped. That was a very disturbing experience. Had to give explicit details to two elders. One elder decided to discuss my situation with his brother (a non-witness) who works for the same company as I did, and of course I was confronted at work about it by this individual. Well, I was young and naive so I just cried. The other party to my sin was “privately reproved” (elder’s son). I understand that to mean his sin was more tolerable to Jehovah while mine was deserving of death. Elders told me Jehovah hated me and would kill me soon at the big A, so I went home and cried (I cried a lot).

    Attempted to go back to the meetings, but gave up as I became depressed by the shunning and non-stop stares. Never researched the religion and there was always this feeling that it was true religion.

    Currently living in Calgary with my spouse (never a JW) and son. JW ladies usually come by my home (K/hall nearby). I would take the mags and give them donation. Apparently, they decided to send elder to my home. And that’s what it took to open my eyes. Being out for so long I was not up to date with the new teachings.

    Asked elder about the 1914 generation that will not pass away. He said the generation teaching was changed and it is now overlapping. He did not really explain what that meant (may be he did and I did not understand), but stated that when the bible talks about generation, it does not mean what we all know generation to mean; in fact, he said “God contacted the people at bethel and explained what generation meant”. What!!!! I nearly fell off the chair.

    I also wanted to know where the 1914 date came from, and he came back to my home with a big book (maybe blue or green) tried to explain but I did not get it. Russell, he said, got the date 607 - 1914 through “divine knowledge” and it was in bible examiner.

    I was aware of the Candice Conti case from the media, and asked about it. He said it was not true, there is no abuse and satan was using these people to attack organization.

    In the meantime I started “googling” things and came across this site, JWfacts and others.

    There was a media story about the Mayan calendar implying that world ending in 2012, so this elder and wife came to my home all hyped up and ready to criticize this end time prediction. Started reading scriptures about what Jehovah will do to these false prophets. So I asked if the same fate will happen to JWs for 1975 prediction. That’s when things fell of the rail. They got so angry, accused me of calling them false prophets, and going on internet to read apostate stuff. A shouting match ensued and they left in a huff, never to return. No one comes by with mags any more, however someone calling himself Mike leaves letters address to “homeowner” and it is about the big A coming soon and need to get to K/hall to be saved from destruction.

    This was a long story. Thanks for your time.

  • cofty
    cofty
    So I asked if the same fate will happen to JWs for 1975 prediction

    Ha! Well done. Isn't it amazing how they turn from "friends" to enemies in a heartbeat as soon as you criticise their leaders?

    Welcome to the forum

  • Saintbertholdt
    Saintbertholdt
    No one comes by with mags any more...

    Damn shame though, its good paper and burns well.

    So what do you use now as kindling for your fireplace? The big A letters I guess?

    Oh btw Welcome.

  • never a jw
    never a jw
    Welcome! Good story.
  • LexIsFree
    LexIsFree
    Welcome to the forum. Very sad story but I'm glad you woke up. Hopefully you're living a better life now. Don't be a stranger and remember you are not alone.
  • Half banana
    Half banana

    Welcome to the site New Order, I really enjoyed your story. Sorry to hear you were made to live your childhood in a holy terror courtesy of your family using Watchtower superstitions to shape you up.

    I loved your pointed comment when the JW suggested that God would punish the false prophets and you asked will God do that to the JW org because of 1975. Delicious!

  • Gayle
    Gayle
    Welcome! What a survivor you are in many ways! Fortunately, you have broken through and now can provide a positive childhood for your son. He will get to have "normal" life and have unconditional love. So many best wishes to you and your family!
  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Welcome New Order - I hope your recovery from the trauma is a success and you can move on and have a truly content life.

    And why not prepare for future visits/confrontations by those who insist that they have "the truth?" Get some Bible-based information here which will open their eyes or make them run away.

    Their inability to answer a clear Bible truth which contradicts the Org, terrifies them. Have an enjoyable learning experience.

  • SecretSlaveClass
    SecretSlaveClass
    Welcome! You've had a tough life so I hope it's a lot better for you now that your mind is free. It goes to show, higher learning certainly makes it easier to identify the nonsense associated with religion but if you have common sense and and inquiring mind, those alone can be as good as any education in calling bullshit when things don't add up. Happy to have your common sense and inquiring mind amongst us!
  • Tornintwo
    Tornintwo

    Welcome - it's lovely to have you here.

    I am so sorry you had such a horrible, abusive, childhood. I don't think this is all the religion's fault but I do think parents with narcissistic, controlling personalities can have these traits exaggerated when they are witnesses - it gives them so many rules to enforce and feeds their controlling nature.

    I am glad you've found a sense of normality with your new family - a second chance at a normal, happy family life and that you are free of the oppressive guilt and mind control. Best wishes to you and yours.

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