Should we let 13 yr. old daughter go with JW sisters and husbands?

by Robotnomore 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • calamityjane
    ." Children this age, and she is a child, are entering the rebellious age, and think that the old fogey parents don't know anything. Your older daughters are closer to her age than you are, and she probably thinks they are cool.

    Aunthill, you hit the nail on the head.

    Although I wouldn't consider myself old fogey, the teen years are tough, and it seems we're always butting heads with our 13 year old quite a bit. Like xjw said earlier in this post, we've had problems with our girls visiting my parents over the years. When we were still in the borg our older daughter would give us problems due to the restrictions of the borg, so when things got tough at home, she would run away and eventually end up at my parents. Why, because they gave her the option to do that. Do I want that with my younger one, NO. Like I posted in Nappy Roots thread, I had to put an end to my mom's manipulation of my daughter. One day my decision was confirmed, as my daughter and I were discussing life in general and she threw it up in my face that if she didn't like our rules she could just go live with "gramma and grandpa". And the look on her face when she said it. OH, If I could have wrapped my hands around my mother's neck at that point I would have.

    It's tough enough bringing up children, why would grandparents have to make an even bigger wedge unless they had an agenda. That is completely WRONG.

  • Robotnomore

    Sorry it took so long to get back. We certainly appreciate all of the advice. I know that what you are all saying is true. We were sort of being led by our emotions that we have for our other kids but reading all of your replies helped to settle it in our minds.

    We try, but its hard to forget just how manipulative the JW's can be. So thanks so much for taking the time to help us. This place is a haven sent from God and so are friends that care enough to help. Thanks again.

    If anyone else has any suggestions, we would appreciate hearing them.

  • JT


    SHOW HER- invite her to read about the transplants the Malawia case, what happens if she gets raped (depending on the year) df one year and not the next

    Tell her about how judical case of child molester are handled, the same way we reason with them to get them IN IS THE SAME WAY WE MUST REASON WITH THEM TO GET OUT AND STAY

    let her read ray franz book, encourage her to ask questions

    ask her is it fair for poor jw to pay for literature and we don't

    show her how the flip flop in alternative service killed young jw men

    and all the while asking do you think this is right or that jah approves

    don't just FORBID her for then it will prove the faithful jw sisters to be correct,

    give her freedom, let her join clubs in schools ,etc

    LET THE CHILD SEE WHAT REAL FREEDOM IS and it ain;t selling books on SAT

  • DanTheMan

    Man, it makes my blood boil the way JW's think that persons on the outside are subject to and should somehow understandingly comply with their rules.

    "Well mom and dad, of course you know we can't associate with you, with you being apostate fighters destined for a violent death at Armageddon and all, but may we have free and unfettered access to one of your offspring?"

  • Robotnomore


    I will use all of your suggestions. I've tried to draw her out about how she feels about all of this and she doesn't agree with the JW's but she just doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Showing it to her in black and white might help. Thanks for the help.


    It is very arrogant of the WT to think we are going to comply with their rules. One of the main reasons we left besides the lies and the false prophesies and all of the other burdens they put on you. Thanks

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    Something happened to my earlier post.

    Anyway, I wanted to say that if you're still wondering whether they'll respect your wishes, consider that they are showing, and telling you, that they don't respect you or your wishes already.

    You're their parents - and they have nothing to do with you. To even consider that they'll be nicey nicey, and respect mum and dad's desire, is just about as fanciful as jwism itself.

    Wait until your remaining daughter is wise as the serpent - don't be overbearing, be her true friend who respects that her young, wild, odd and 'modern' interests are valid - be patient, and for years - educate yourself and her: enlighten her bit by bit - and then Send her to Them, in all covertness, whence she may get your other daughters back as well.


  • JT

    I will use all of your suggestions. I've tried to draw her out about how she feels about all of this and she doesn't agree with the JW's but she just doesn't seem to want to talk about it. Showing it to her in black and white might help. Thanks for the help.

    just take your time and it will work out just fine

  • obiwan

    Ask yourself how much she looks up to them, the more she does the more dangerous the situation is.

  • Robotnomore

    A Paduan,

    I love the suggestion to educate the youngest daughter to get the other two out. Sounds like a plan to me. Thanks!

  • funkyderek


    My opinion is that you cannot allow people who treat you abusively to have access to your children. Your older children have decided that you are evil and worthy of destruction. They want to "save" your daughter from that. That means they will try to turn her against you, perhaps not directly but eventually, if they drag her into their cult, they will pressure her to do as they have done and shun you.

    I would suggest letting your older daughters have supervised access, with the condition that they must treat you with at least the respect they would treat a stranger in whose home they were a guest. If they can behave like civilised human beings, you could consider letting them have limited unsupervised access if they can agree not to discuss religion.

    Educating your daughter to the truth about the WT cult will also go a long way to preventing her being sucked in.

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