Teejay, My parents (my mom) made a choice not to call me to see my children. I set the ground rules, they chose to ignore and leave us alone. What else could I do. I feel sorry for them that they are missing out on their grandchildren.
... there are going to be a few that don't have this type of circumstance and the parents have to make a choice in keeping what family they have left together and sane.
You obviously don't have a mom like mine. -- calamityjane
My reason for commenting in this thread was only to offer my personal experience that serves as a bit of a counterpoint to valid comments that others have made.
Back in 1970 when my oldest sister Connie was df'd at nineteen (as mentioned in another thread), I followed my mother's lead in shunning her. Connie went on to marry a very fine man, a man of such high quality that I don't hesitate to refer to him as a brother. He and Connie went on to build a good life together, raising two boys to adulthood. For the most part, my mother (and I) dutifully shunned her (them) the whole time -- to my lasting shame.
That is... until about 10 years ago when I began to extract my head from my anus.
Over the past four or five years -- for whatever reason -- my mother began responding to the idea of reuniting with ALL of her children, not just those "serving Jehovah." Was the change in her attitude attributable to her advanced age, regrets, a wt article? I don't know. All I know that the woman changed. Since then, much of the dysfunction that plagued our family for thirty years is gone.
Now, since she is still deathly loyal to the Org I never asked my mother why the change (and I never will), but I have the deep feeling that my mother knows that many of the problems in our family over the years are directly linked to her exclusionary beliefs and the actions she's taken toward her children as a result. Put simply, Mamma knows that she made serious mistakes that cost her children YEARS of togetherness, and I've seen clear evidence that she has put at least THAT JW bullshit behind her. For THAT reason and THAT reason only, I can say today that I wouldn't have any problem letting my JW mother spend as much time as she wants with my daughter. (I think) She's feels that she's lost enough, and risking the loss of my family and daughter due to any attempts to convert Baby Girl is a risk she simply will not take.
I realize that most exes who still have loyal JW parents / family don't enjoy the situation I do with regard to my JW mother. In fact, I didn't have it myself for many years. I TOTALLY understand people's unwillingness to open their children up to that kind of religious abuse and I assure you that I'd keep my daughter from my mother as well if I thought my daughter was under the slightest threat of any kind. As it is, she isn't.
As I said, not all JWs are the same.