I'm in a similar situation with my father -- he has declared his need to "limit his association" with me (all dubs use the same dub vernacular, it seems), and furthermore, he has said that he cannot eat with me (another dub thing, misconstrued from some dumb scripture that is itself contradicted by other not-as-dumb scriptures), and, what really got me, he no longer wants to embrace me when we meet. I think he was scrounging around for something unexpected and therefore hurtful to add to the dubspeak with which I am all too familiar.
Anyway, he managed to add, in the same paragraph, that he still wants to spend time with my daughter, who's now 13 months old (although he's only seen her twice since she was born). I haven't responded to him and probably won't bother, but I've pretty much decided that, until my father can treat me like a son, he can't be a grandfather. It's a reasonable response: you can't simultaneously cut yourself off from your children and then expect to be part of the families they've created. It's outrageous to expect that I'll excuse myself and leave my daughter in the presense of a man with no natural affection for his own children. No way.
But, you know, dubs feel this overwhelming sense of entitlement to whatever it is they want to do -- after all, this is their earth we're living on, and the rest of us are just taking up space until God wipes us out.