Elders' kids - special treatment?

by starfish422 25 Replies latest jw experiences

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  pr_capone

  It seems to be the opinion of some on this board that elders' kids received special treatment, weren't punished for their wrongdoings, etc.

  As the daughter of the PO in our small congregation, let me tell you that it was much harder for me than for the kids of those who weren't elders. Our family was expected to be the "Model Family for Displaly Purposes" and we were held up to very high standards so that we didn't "stumble" anyone. At times I wished my dad wasn't an elder so that I could have a bit more freedom.

  Wow... then you must have been one of the unfortunate ones. I know personaly of elders children being caught in bed with their boy/girlfriends, smoking, stealing, porn, R rated movies, and TONS more. Not a single one got in trouble for a single thing. It was amazing. I recall the elders kids saying exactly what you just said, then going out and doing whatever they wanted to knowing that they wouldnt be touched. Kansas District Overbeer
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  cruzanheart

  I think it depended on the quality of the elder, not the kid. If the elder wanted special treatment, it was given. But if the elder was either trying to do the right thing or trying to look like he was doing the right thing, like my dad and a few others who have posted, then it was like having a spotlight shining on you at all times.

  Nina
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  Valis

  One of my childhood friends was the son of an elder, his name was Dax...he paid for his dad's piousness with black eyes and eventually was driven from home by the abusive man that the congregation came to when money was short and the bills had to be paid. Anyone want to take a guess as to why this elder was never reproached or even reproved for beating the tar out of his son on a regular basis? BTW, Dax is no longer with us...he was killed in a motorcycle accident some time ago...RIP

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
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  gitasatsangha

  I was an elder's kid and I knew many. We were the sneakiest people on the planet. It was strange because while there was a degree of special treatment, there was always this feeling that whatever you did would affect your parents. I remember the first GF I had was not a JW and when I was caught (I got much better at the double life thing after that) I had to break up with her. I remember being suicidal after this. My dad, of course, offered me this comfort. "Do you REALIZE they could have removed me from being an elder over this?" I know a lot of elder's sons and daughters have similar experiences. But the special treatment was there, as well.

  For one thing, when the hotel lists came out, at least at our hall, the brother with the list quietly gave it out to the elder famiies first each year. That way we had first shot at the best hotels ahead of time. We usually had our hotel arranged before going to the Thursday meeting and chuckled to ourselves when watching everyone else fly out of the hall trying to avoid being stuck in some no-tell-motel. Another thing was being able to bug your dad about getting the talks you wanted on TMS, or trying to get a better assignment as assisstant. One elder I know always used his two sons to do the prayers. It was like clockwork. Well we were all guilty, really. The congregations are certainly corrupt little villiages.
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  Pork Chop

  I've seen it work both ways, sometimes elders kids get a pass, sometimes other elders demonstrate their righteousness by really wacking them. Just depends on where you are.
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  Big Tex

  I don't know about elders' kids but in my hall it was the rich kids who got the special treatment.

  Ah, to be young and rich. Maybe in the next life.
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  LoverOfTruth

  I'm glad my ex-husband didn't make it to elder. That was his goal. He was already hard enough on the kids. He tried to make them perfect little adults (to impress the elders) at the meetings by not allowing them to have coloring books, or fall asleep. Those meetings were BORING and I nodded off myself on occasion. Actually, getting back to the subject of Elder's kids, they go both ways, scared to death or rebellious. I feel sad for them :-(
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  Mulan

  But I think the point some earlier posters were alluding to was, if you did get into trouble, and your dad was a prominent elder, chances are it could be swept under the carpet, and not even brought before a JC

  Some of our kids had problems, and had to face the JC. Dave was a very prominent elder, and the kids were reproved, but nothing was ever done to Dave. He remained an elder, even when our second son was disfellowshipped. The CO was behind it though. He was a nice guy............very fair, and said it shouldn't reflect on the parent, when a 17 year old makes a choice, like our son did. He knew we had done everything we could to stop him. The others were swept under the rug, as far as dealing with removing Dave as an elder. It never happened.

  So............the kids didn't get special treatment, but Dave did.
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  LoverOfTruth

  Actually I believe many JW adolescents led double lives, not just those of the elders. In retrospect, I believe that rebellion was a good thing because those young people used their brains to think. Three of my four children didn't follow the straight and narrow and those three have been able to break free from the JW prison. The oldest and always blindly obedient is still there.
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  deebee

  In my congregation, the elder's kids definitely got special treatment. Except me. My stepfather didn't like me enough to give me special treatment. In fact, one of his favorite pastimes was taking me before the other elders for various wrongdoings. Of course, the ironic thing was that I was the only elder's kid who wasn't partying. My big sins were that I liked school and I brought home (gasp) books from the library. The other kids at the KH wouldn't hang out with me because of my stepfather, their father's turned a blind eye. Lucky them. The elders that came to our house never told him to lighten up but just put me through two or three hours of Bible reading hell. I remember a particularly long session, after I had gone to my first rock show (The Who), that was conducted by two elders whose kids had been going to concerts for years. They never batted an eye, just got out their Bibles and went to work on me. Assholes.