Welcome! And waste no more precious time disentangling from the religious web. It is a difficult process in many cases, depending on family and personal relationships, but freedom is invigorating and life is to be lived.
Just one foot in...
by Jofi_Wofo 16 Replies latest jw experiences
WELCOME! We have all been where you are now! Life in the real world is fantastic!
Thank you for your support, everyone.
I'm feeling especially trapped this morning.
My current set of circumstances makes it next to impossible for me to just up and leave the organization cold turkey. I'm currently living in a remote area where the only social connections I have are through the congregation. The non-JWs in the area don't take especially kindly to people, like me, who weren't born and raised here, and there really is nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. My landlord is a JW, and my house is actually on the same property as his.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that my wife and I are moving in a few months. I have to figure out the right way to break the news to her. It WILL crush her. Unlike me, she was raised in the religion and not only is it the only thing she knows, it's the only thing she knows how to know.
When it comes to this morning, however... *sigh* I'm tired, have a slight cold and all I want to do is lay in my recliner, sip some tea and read an interesting book. Instead, I'm going out in service and might even be asked to lead the group.
How does it ever come to this? For a fully grown man who has always been a proponent of rational skepticism and has never liked anyone telling him what to do or what to believe. How did I ever get myself in this mess to begin with? How has it taken me this long to do something about it? How am I about to go out in the ministry right now, knowing that this isn't what I want to do, and that this isn't what I want to teach?
I'm ashamed to do it, but I'm also ashamed to NOT do it and see the whole world cave in around me while I'm stuck in this miserable place with little resources and no recourse.
Sorry to hear about your dilemma Jofi. If I were you I would wait till the move before sharing your skepticism with your wife. I would make the most of fieldservice as well...sharing your faith, I.e. what you still do believe, not what you don't. I would also use your time prior to the move to figure out how you will break the news to your wife in as gentle a way as possible. And if you still believe in God, I would ask Him to lead you and your wife in your new situation.
Maybe it's time to play the "depression card".
Aren't you depressed that the New World hasn't come yet, even though it was prophesied (repeatedly) over and over again in years/decades past?
Aren't you depressed that you didn't prepare well enough for getting old in this system, since you truly believed the (false) prophesies that you would never get old or die?
A couple weeks ago, I finally told my wife that I no longer believe in the Bible. I refrained from giving her the full details- that I already planned my complete exit and that this is more than just a lack of faith, but a complete rejection of everything the organization is and ever was.
My wife was very understanding and supportive. Much more than I expected. Unfortunately, she felt the need to call the elders over. Call me a fool, but I love her so much I have trouble saying no to her, so I sat and talked with them.
They were extremely supportive and polite. When the time is right, I'll return to this thread and recap in more detail what went down. Basically, they just asked me some questions and wanted to hear me out. They tried to refute some of my arguments, but ultimately conceded that I had good points, that I had a right to question faith and require evidence. They also we're understanding how hard it must be to lose faith in something that was a huge part of my life for many years.
They're all of the mindset that I will "figure it out" and be restored in due time, but none of them know just how far I'm gone. For now, I let them know that I don't feel comfortable preaching anymore, and they agreed that it wouldn't make sense to teach something I don't believe in.
Wheeeew. There are so many ways it could have gone, most of them much poorly than it did. For now, I'm accompanying my wife to the meetings just to be her companion and because I don't feel safe with her going out alone at night during the midweek meeting. When we move from here, we'll be in a safer area and I'll drop my meeting attendance.
Which leads me to the absolutely delicious question: Will this memorial be my last?
Welcome to the forum.
Your story is interesting and I especially understand the part where you said you weren’t born-in..and wonder how it all came to this and how did you ever get yourself in this mess?.. Best of luck and I hope you and your wife find your way safely out of the JW religion!