I think God is a Jokester, I'm starting to appreciate his words.

by James Mixon 7 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Proverbs 27:14." A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day". Love it!!!

    Proverbs 27:14 "He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning

    it will be counted a curse to him". Don't you just hate that, waking up with someone

    screaming in your ear.

    2 Kings 2:23-24 Don't make fun of the bald guy, you might become dinner for a bear. I'm half bald.

    Proverbs 31:6 Hell if you are going to die you may as well have a beer and get drunk out of your mind.

    2 Samuel 10:4 I wonder about the term "man I saw ED on the street and his was down on his luck, "his ass

    was out". David's servants shaved off half of their beards, cut off their garments in the middle

    at their buttocks, and sent them away with their ass out.

    1 Samuel 5:9 God gave old and young hemorrhoids. You have to love this guy. If you want to stop a

    war, give people hemorrhoids.

  • Malachi Constant
    Malachi Constant
    I find fascinating an idea of a God, who asked his People to go to war to complete his already large collection of foreskins. Like collecting stamps.
  • LoveUniHateExams

    asked his People to go to war to complete his already large collection of foreskins. Like collecting stamps - it sounds like something Hannibal Lecter would collect.

    And stamps wouldn't smell so bad ...

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon
    Yes the collection of foreskins is sick.
  • Dunedain
    I always wondered why in the old testament God was quoted as saying, " I am a jealous God". Why would God have to be jealous, REALLY? Yet in other bible verses, when talking about "jealousy", it says how its "rottenous to the bones". I dont get it???
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Dunedain: Try that with your kids, "Do as I say and not as I do". You think they will listen

    to you.

  • Dunedain
    @ - James Mixon - EXACTLY, you are correct about that one. For some reason, when i tell my 2 daughters one thing, but do something else, they call me out on it. Go figure, lol.
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    Jesus made a similar statement, the influence of the Pharisees. "Do as

    they say, but not as they do. So why would you do as they say if it is wrong.?

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