Did The Elders Seem Eager To Disfellowship You?

by minimus 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Gamaliel
    Gamaliel

    Edited to move to another thread....

  • BLISSISIGNORANCE
    BLISSISIGNORANCE

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    THEY SURE DID.

    after one of my kids was sexually abused by a jw and i reported it to the authorities and police, the elders became very concerned that someone in the congregation might find out what happened. the first thing they impressed on me was to keep quiet about it with the jws. as one elder put it "gossip is like the feathers in a pillow when it breaks open. once they're out you can never put them all back in" they said if i had any problems, to speak to them ALONE, no other elders either.

    when i realised that they didn't care about other kids in the congo because the pedo was playing with them and touching them in front of the elders, i warned a few mums about being careful.

    it took a year, but they did get me. but they had to do it carefully. so they rang around all sisters i was associating with, trying to find someone who had ANYTHING that could be used against me. one witness was one elder's daughter and the other was a friend of hers. they got me for slander.............and the evidence was based on 2 seperate conversations i had with the false witnesses seperately, and they remembered everything i said, word for word, a year later. yeh, right.

    one of the witnesses has a mental illness and is on heavy medication...........they used her as a reliable witness when she can't remember putting sugar in your coffee 2 seconds after she's put it in. the other is such a gossiper that the evidence she gave was in actual fact, what she had said about the person, not my words.

    they came to my home under false pretenses with the supposed slander victim, kicked my hubby out of our lounge room. i allowed that, thinking they had good intentions and that the truth would clear everything up...........WRONG. my hubby would have liked to kick their heads in and he's not a violent man.

    the 3 men, 2 elders and supposed slander victim, sat there, saying if i didn't confess they would get a jc. i didn't say what they wanted me to confess too, but they had 2 RELIABLE witnesses and i would get DF'ed. there was no opening prayer, none of them had a bible and the whole thing was so frightening and threatening, that i can only describe the experience as pure EVIL.

    so yes, the elders were very eager to DF me. i believe they sold their souls to get me. it was pure corruption and the wts allowed it all to go ahead because the fish stinks from the head down! the corruption is from the top down. although now i'm happy to know the truth about the borg, and i'm thrilled to have a normal life again out of it, this does not take away the fact that the whole incident made me physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally sick. and they will pay, sooner or later for what they did to me and countless other decent, trusting people.

    bliss

  • myself
    myself

    Eager? Maybe, maybe not. There wasn't any hesitation. I really felt that the outcome was predetermined before I met with them.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I just read this to my wife and the first thing she said was "WITCH HUNT". She is trying to make sense of all of this because she's afraid to believe that this could be true.

  • blackout
    blackout

    In a word-No

    In a lot of words:

    The reason I say no, is because when I was disfellowshipped I was 18 years old, extremely pretty and voluptuous and had just turned myself in for committing fornication. They wanted ALL the details of course, and they gave me a LOT of chances to prove I was repentant, it went on for several weeks and several meetings. The chief Elder really had a soft spot for me (and a hard spot too I reckon). The feeling I got from the whole panel of elders was really lascivious. Blahhh dirty old men.

    Anyway they would have loved to have disfellowshipped my partner in crime (who is now my partner in life) but he wasn't baptised and they had just done away with the disassociating unbaptised ones.

    To make a long story short, I went away for the weekend with the love of my life and they disfellowshipped me right after. I think I wanted them to.

    Then like a lamb to the slaughter I went back 12months later.

    Idiot. Finally woke up and did a slow fade 5 years later.

  • teejay
    teejay

    They weren't "eager," per se, but they didn't seem to mind, either.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    I think they are now. A sister in Nina's congregation just stopped by to "talk" to her about a report she had heard that we were going to >GASP< celebrate my son's 7th birthday. So between this, the valentines they saw in my daughter's room and that little letter Nina fired off, I'm going to go out on a limb and predict a visit from the Cheese and Cracker Men.

    And I'm very eager to talk with them when they show up. I may not win this little fight, but I swear they will know they were in a fight.

    "I don't lie. I don't bluff and I don't bullshit. I don't do these things to others and I expect the same from them. -- John Wayne

  • moreisbetter
    moreisbetter

    My JC was not. In fact they were actually rather sympathetic.

    The whole thing was a mess. Due to a recent territory change, we were moved (booted) to another area congregation from the one that DF'd my hubby. Although he was reinstated by that time, the elders in this cong knew of the circumstances (the whole G*dD**n MF circuit knew most of the details). The cong did not know us personally, except for the PO, who only knew hubby professionally and as an Elder. He was on my JC.

    I came to the meeting with my mind made up. I did not want a discussion because i believed it was futile. DO IT. DF. Get it over with!!!! No one gave a S**t about the reasons my actions existed or the circumstances which led up to them. Funny, I can see it all very clearly right now, and I feel it too. Anyway, their remarks were not cruel. They expressed regret, not condemnation. But they knew what they had to do however; DF. The meeting was short. I was dismissed. I went to my car, broke down & cried. I was still crying when they left the KH and they saw me still sitting in the my car. The PO asked if I was ok, "NO!" was my vehement response. The 2 others stayed, and I was convinced to come back in and tell my story.

    I'm really surprised these 3 men were sympathatic. they didn't ask for my "personal transgression details". But what were the events that led up to me choosing to committ the sin. I was "repentent" there was no doubt about that. Oh well, they wanted a meeting with hubby and me. He wasn't in a forgiving mood at that meeting. I don't think they liked his answers. But he wasn't on trial; I was. They did try to admonish him to forgivness and perhaps counseling. They decided to Private Reprove me. I tried a few KH meetings after that and a convention, but after a lifetime of this stuff, I left.

    If I were on trial in our original cong; they would DF in a heartbeat. And would not reinstate me no matter how hard i tried.

    Whatever, I'm not there anymore. Interesting question.

    Oh, Well,

  • Cicatrix
    Cicatrix

    I dissassociated myself after spending a few years being hounded by a elder who was "just sure" I was doing something immoral.This elder was the one that presided over the meeting we had when I reported my husband hitting me (complete with the irrefutable evidence of a bloodied and bruised lip), during which this elder basically implied it was my fault for not being obedient enough, and told me not to call the police (I didn't, but my mother did.).The accusations and unofficial shunning started right after that incidence.

    Not surprisingly, he was one of two elders who showed up unannounced shortly after they received my DA letter. His demeanor was anything but kind as he fired off his questions, most of which I refused to answer (as far as I was concerned, I'd made my intentions clear and I was not going to waste my time explaining my reasons to a man who was stuck in his own litttle paradigm).I did tell him that I wasn't involved with any other religious organisation, though, so there were no grounds for an apostate label at that time.

    The other elder, however, was kind and did seem concerned. He was a newcomer to the hall, sent in to "help" the local elders (two other elders had stepped down-I suspect out of protest in regards to how my self-proclaimed judge,jury and executioner was wielding his power in the congregation. I wasn't the only one targetted by this elder.) Unfortunately, the kind elder is an "underdog" at the kingdom hall, and has very little influence, so I don't think things will change much for the members.I still have a lot of respect for him, though. He's a decent guy caught up in a system that should work in theory, but doesn't in reality.

  • mattnoel
    mattnoel

    Come to think of it, they acted very strange, I wont go into too much detail about my hearings but they arranged three of them. God only knows why I attended even one of them. Basically I sent a letter da myself and then they kept on hounding me about it so I said I would give it another chance but then before any meetings etc etc I get a call for a df hearing. I thought enough is enough yeah I will and I will be blatant with them and tell them all and the truth (I am yet to write them a letter telling them about the rest of the group who I used to hang out with that are SOOOO squeeky clean), anyway, I met with them and told them all and they wanted to meet again, so ok I did and then again........what the hell was going on, they said that they needed time to pray, again I went back and they STILL hadnt decided now by this point I was just waiting for them to say that they would keep me so I could drop another bombshell but they didnt, they told me that I was being diss;d and I should attend the meeting for my announcement............did i attend.............did i F***.

    Last I heard from them.

    I luv ya mouthy ! what a wonderfull message !

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