Fifteen Years Ago...

by Prisca 28 Replies latest jw experiences

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  COMF

  1988 - I had finally left the organization a bit earlier and started playing in a band again. My witness wife had issued me an ultimatum to choose between the band and her. I had answered that I was not going to make that choice; if it was made, she would have to. So she moved out. Three weeks later, she came over to say she'd made a mistake and was ready to come home, and I said no, let's just leave it like it is.

  I was floating off into that no man's land of drunkenness and aimlessness where I stayed lost for two years before deciding to go to college. The college helped me have a focus and purpose, but it didn't stop the drinking. But that's another story.

  Sorry about losing your mom and your relationship with your dad going sour, Prisca. Do you ever see him these days? How are things between you now? We can't undo what's done, but we can change things in the present. Maybe he's repented for his spinelessness, and a contact from you is all it will take to reestablish a relationship. Just a thought...

  Fred
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  Prisca

  Thanks for your replies guys, I appreciate everyone's thoughts.

  Blondie - I too spent 30 yrs as a JW. I was a born and raised JW, never left "the troof" until I was about 30.

  ((((((Mouthy)))))) - I'm sorry that your daughter doesn't speak to you. But know what? You're the same age as what my mother would have been if she was still alive. So you could be an adoptive mum to me if you like

  COMF - Yes, two years ago I tried to reconcile things between my dad and my sister & I, but he hasn't changed at all, and the "reconciliation" only lasted a week. At least we can say we tried.
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  refiners fire

  hey Pris.

  Can I be your adopted Daddy? I always wanted a daughter.
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  Prisca

  Sure RF, you can be my sugar daddy
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  blondie

  Hi Prisca, 30 years too, my condolences. As to family, I finally realized that "the truth" is not the cause of my family's dysfunction. It just never proved to be a solution or a cure for the problem. You obviously have grown up and moved on from the place your family is determined to stay in. I mourned for a bit then realized that I was better off not being around to be verbally and emotionally abused by my family. They actually made it easier for me to fade away by treating me as if I were DF'd. My mother is still alive but I have to look at her and realize that this woman knew my father was abusing me and let him to protect herself. She still hasn't apologized and will probably die still denying her part in it.

  Blondie
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  mattnoel

  Prisca thank you for your message, it was so nice tobe able to respond to one of your life stories. You are a strong person in fact I think most people in this room have made it because they are strong enough to break free and not just that but strong enough to be thrown out into the big wide world and do it alone. I am proud of you all !

  I have gone through some of my old pics recently, I kept a few of them but it can be so painfull ! I pulled out most of the ones of my sister and tore them up, sad I know after all she has done to me in the past but I did it. I felt like writing a letter to my Sister for all the pain she has caused but then all I could see was her crying in my chest about something and I just couldnt do it so thought it is best to just leave it in peace the way it is.

  ANYWAY sorry going off into one again.............

  Rayzor I admire you, you are a good bloke (as us brits say) and Mouthy well I have just listened to your voice commentry and your story is great !

  I wasnt sure if I would be accepted into this forum but think I have and want to thank you all ! your a great bunch to associate with.
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  Huxley

  I was dunked in 1991 at age 17. This was during Gulf War I, and I remember my dad telling me how I need to make a stand now that I was nearing draft-age. Amazing to think that I couldn't even legally purchase a beer, but I could dedicate myself to a goofy religion at that age. I wonder if any other kids are being encouraged to "take a stand" now that Gulf War II is gearing up.
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  Princess

  Hi Prisca,

  I have missed you lately but I haven't been around much either. Your experience is so sad, but it makes you strong. I hope you are getting more hugs these days.

  Rachel
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  Prisca

  Blondie:

  As to family, I finally realized that "the truth" is not the cause of my family's dysfunction. It just never proved to be a solution or a cure for the problem.

  A very true statement. Being "in the truth" does not guarantee that we will have a happy family environment.

  Mattnoel:

  most people in this room have made it because they are strong enough to break free and not just that but strong enough to be thrown out into the big wide world and do it alone.

  Yes, many of us have no choice but to do it alone. It's certainly not easy, but I think it makes us stronger people. If we didn't have inner strength now, we certainly do now!

  Glad to have you on the board.

  Huxley:

  Firstly, welcome to the board.

  Amazing to think that I couldn't even legally purchase a beer, but I could dedicate myself to a goofy religion at that age.

  Weird, huh? And your Dad used emotional tactics to "encourage" you to get baptised. Sorry that you were pressured like that. But we live and learn, eh?.

  Princess:

  Thanks. Yes, I get more hugs these days, I'm glad to say.