How Would You Console A Witness Who Has Lost A Loved One?

by minimus 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    If you're a non-denominational Christian like myself, you could always agree with vague statements about the resurrection, but not not say anything about the paradise Earth.

  • minimus

    When my mom died two years ago the witnesses all tried to give me the resurrection hope. I always thanked them because I know it is their belief.

    Recently someone passed away in LV and it was horrific for everyone. I gave my heartfelt condolences to the families and never mentioned their resurrection hope but they did and I empatheticaly acknowledged it. No way would I disagree with their thoughts during their agony.

  • jp1692

    I would take a page from the playbook of non-cult members (aka: normal people) and say, "I'm sorry for your loss!"

    If we were ever close, I would offer to be available to talk.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I'd refer to the scripture Paul wrote about "not morning as do those who have no hope", and leave it at that. What would you say to a Baptist/Catholic neighbor or friend who has experienced death in their family? They have their hope (heaven). JWs have their hope (resurrection). I'm not convince that there is either hope, but why "rain on their parade" at a time they are already emotionally beaten?

    As was mentioned, be there FOR THEM if they need something. Call back 2 weeks later when everyone else has moved on and forgotten them.


  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    JW : "I cant believe Joe is gone, I'm so glad we at least we have the resurrection to look forward to"

    You: " For now, it's up to those of us who are left behind, to help each other through the grieving process. I'm here if you need bout' I take you to dinner tomorrow night ?"


    JW : "I can't believe Joe is gone, I'm so glad we at least we have the resurrection to look forward to"

    You: " For now, it's up to those of us who are left behind, to help each other through the grieving process. I'm here if you need bout' I take you to dinner tomorrow night ?"

    JW: You still believe in the resurrection don't you?

    You: "Well, to be honest, I'm not as sure about things like that as I once was. I'm sort of taking a wait and see attitude these days but I think that if God has something good in store for mankind, Joe will surely be a part of it. Lets focus on getting through this rough patch...what do you say we go out to dinner tomorrow night ?"

  • sparrowdown

    Witnesses and grief ugh!

    I have broken one of the rules of witness club on several occasions by telling grieving witnesses not to listen to other bros and sis's who told them to "move on" etc etc. I have said they can talk for as long and as often as they want to me about their dead loved ones as it was normal and natural to do so.

    When I ran into an older sister in the supermarket that had lost her grandaughter who was only ten kept apologizing for talking about her funny memories of her and felt other witnesses had forgotten her and moved on so she should too, I said to her straight up "why would you ever want to, if she's in Jehovah's memory then why shouldn't she in yours too."

    I'll never forget the way she just went silent for a second or two and then her whole face lit up because I had given her permission to speak of her granddaughter freely. She was so happy and relieved she couldn't stop saying how genuinely good it was to see me when I said my goodbyes.

  • scratchme1010
    what would you say? Would you acknowledge the resurrection hope that the Witnesses entertain or say something very different?

    I don't see any difference between asking this question about a JW and any other person who hasn't been part of your life at all. Why would it be my job to console people who are not pat of my life? Where are their go-to people?

  • moreconfusedthanever

    I remember when my dad passed away. We had a memorial service for him at our local kingdom hall. Over 400 turned up. I wondered where all these people were in his life while he was alive because they sure were not friends. Anyway I digress.

    Every single JW person in the hall wanted to come and offer their condolences in person. What a long afternoon that was! And every single JW person offered the same words "you will see him again in the new system", "its such a comfort that we have the resurrection hope".

    Guess what? It is not a freaking comfort at all! I remember saying to my husband that the next person who says that to me is going to get punched in the face. I was still "in the truth" at the time and I found no comfort in the resurrection hope at all. I wanted my dad here now. I wanted him to see his grandchildren grow up and teach them what he knows. I wanted to be able to have conversations with him and hug him and he was gone. Even if I did survive the big A who knows how long it would be before he came back to us. I remember one talk at a convention the brother said we may have to wait 400 years or more to see our loved ones back because they were not all coming back at once. What?!!

    So the next time I had to write a condolence card to a sister I just wrote something like this

    "Nothing will take away the pain and grief that you feel now. In time you will find comfort and happiness in remembering the good times and appreciating that you had your loved one in your life for as long as you did."

  • road to nowhere
    road to nowhere

    same as a worldly person. do anything practical they need you are capable of, just be there, take in a meal, gently help them through any guilt they have (there is always something they (we) did or didn't they regret, cannot be helped for any of us)

    even a lot of gung ho witnesses know enough to hold back on a lot of scriptures at that time

  • Ding


    Weep with those who weep.

    Don't say something you don't believe, but don't get into a theological argument with them either.

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