Do you forgive easily?

by JH 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  JH

  Are you the type to forgive easily, or do you keep a grudge for quite a while?

  I forgive very fast, and this could play a trick on me.

  I would be the type to go back to the hall if everyone in the congregation became friendly with me all of a sudden. Well, that's the way I joined the JW's. A friend of mine made me study the bible with him, and I finally went to a meeting, and then it led to my baptism. All that because I felt I was appreciated in the congregation.

  But since I forgive so fast, I would be the type to accept whatever reason they had to be mean to me.

  But now that I know more about them, I don't want to go back, and I don't want to see them.

  While driving my car today, I met a brother who waved at me and had a big smile, as if we were good friends. On the moment, I was happy. It was better than a frown, or someone who turns their head away not to look at me.

  But I don't want to be friends with them. That's why I don't want to answer the door when they come to encourage me. I know my goodness and I forgive so easily.

  They are trying to get me back, by being nice. Too bad it took the Watchtower society to tell them to be nice.

  My weakness is that I'm a good guy. I always help people in need, and I always forgive.

  I'm the perfect victim for them because I'm gentle.

  But I won't go back, the love is gone, the game is over.
• 

  Buster

  Like anything else, it depends. I can tolerate a bit, particularly if it is aimed at me. But if I need to step in for my wife or kids - especially the kids - I have a different 'tude. When my kids are involved, I get a case of Irish Alzheimers. That is to say, I can forget everything but the grudge.
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  happyout

  Forgiving someone does not mean you have to subject yourself to bad treatment again. Forgiving can simply be releasing the anger and hurt you have, letting go of the hold they have over you by generating such negative emotions, and moving on. I forgive easily if I don't think the person intentionally harmed me, but I also seldom put myself in a position to be hurt by them again. It's a matter of maturity, in my mind, because holding onto anger usually hurts you the most. I find that the only people who can really hurt me now are those I love the most, and because they love me, they seldom hurt me (except my husband), and when they do hurt me it is never intentional. Don't let the dog bite you twice, my friend.
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  Scully

  I know what you mean, JH. Been there, done that. Too many times.

  Whenever there's been a problem with another person, I have found that in most cases it has been the result of a misunderstanding, rather than the intention to cause harm or hurt feelings. Honest and open communication usually clears those misunderstandings very quickly. Good friendships are something I really value, and it's not worth throwing away a great friendship over a simple misunderstanding.

  However, as far as the JWs are concerned, I can't ever forgive them completely for the way I was treated, and for the hatefulness they showed to me and my family, when what I needed was love and compassion and support. There's something about being told that "If you turn your back on The Truth TM , your children would be better off if you take them out in the back yard and blow their heads off with a gun" that doesn't deserve to be forgiven or forgotten. Those actions are the result of a person misplacing their loyalties to an organization, rather than with their friends. It's their loss, because in the end, when they have nothing left to give the organization, it will spit them out and leave them to rot along with the pile of bodies they have spit out and left to rot before them.

  Love, Scully
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  blondie

  Forgiving requires:

  One, that the one that hurt us specifically state what it was they did that hurt us, that they understand why it would hurt someone, and apologize. How quick were they to make an apology, 2 days or 10 years?

  Second, they would make every attempt to repair the damage, making amends.

  Third, let some time go by to make sure they have really changed their hurtful behavior so as not to repeat it.

  Regret, repentance, restitution.

  Blondie(actions speak louder than words)

  Do not be quick to forgive an abuser.
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  SLOAN

  I think it depends on the situation. For the most part I forgive VERY easily.
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  animal

  Pretty much.. the answer is no....

  I feel that an adult knows when they do something that needs forgiving, even before they do it for the most part. To me, a person shows that they want forgiven by never doing it again. Period. Asking forgiveness does nothing in my mind to get around the offense. Just dont do it again..... period. That shows more to me than anything.

  Animal
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  minimus

  I generally forgive easily. I just don't always forget.
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  slipnslidemaster

  "The stupid neither forgive nor forget;
  the naive forgive and forget;
  the wise forgive but do not forget." - Thomas Szasz -
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  unclebruce

  who's "easily?"