Breakfast Show, Radio Hallam, Sheffield:Presenter: Of which European country is Lisbon the capital?Contestant: Australia.
Presenter: Sorry, that’s the wrong answer; we’ll go to the next caller.Second contestant: I were going to say Australia as well. Is it Gibraltar?
National Lottery Jetset, BBC1:Eamonn Holmes: Who wrote The Catcher In The Rye?Contestant: Chaucer.
The Weakest Link, BBC2:Anne Robinson: What is the name of the bodily fluid secreted by the lachrymal glands?
Poached shamelessly from Private eye by Englishman.