One day, after resolving his differences with Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson decides to take a visit to watch Arsenal train. On the training pitch, Ferguson says to Wenger "So, how do you keep your players so sharp?" "That's easy," replies Wenger, "I just keep their minds sharp by giving them puzzles to solve. Here, I'll show you." Wenger called over Dennis Bergkamp. "Okay Dennis," said Wenger "I'm not your brother, but I'm still your father's son, who am I?" "Ah, that's easy" said Bergkamp, "It's me!" "Wow," said Ferguson, "that's brilliant!". So he went back to Manchester and the next day he called over David Beckham. "Okay David, I'm not your brother but I'm still your father's son. Who am I?" said Ferguson. "Oh, that's a hard one. Can I think about it overnight and give you the answer tomorrow?" replied Beckham. That night, Beckham rings up Roy Keane. "Roy, I need your help. He's not your brother, but he's still your father's son. Who is he?" "That's easy" said Keane, "it's me!" The next day, Beckham goes up to Ferguson, and Ferguson says, "okay, so I'm not your brother but i'm still your father's son, who am I?" "It's easy" says Beckham, "It's Roy Keane!" "No YOU IDIOT" screams Ferguson, "It's Dennis Bergkamp!"
United sign Doncaster Player!
Alex Ferguson is watching a rather tame game at struggling Doncaster when he spots a young lad with real potential. Keen to build on his continued success by stealing developing young talented players from other teams he approaches the lad and offers him a contract. The day comes when the lad is about to play in his first game. Alex calls him aside to firm up on the details of the contract: "Right then lad, I've decided to start you on a salary of 25,000 a week. The lad replies £25,000 per week !!!!!, I was lucky to get £50 at Doncaster!" Ferguson continues "Well we're talking Man United here......we consider ourselves the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and think big! I've also arranged a house for you, a 7 bed detached in Wilmslow.....set in 5 acres with its own pool and tennis courts. The lad is ecstatic "7 bed detached!!!!!, only got a council flat at Doncaster! Ferguson continues "I told you, we're talking Man United here......we consider ourselves the best team in the country, you've got to aim high and think big! I've also arranged your transport, a Jaguar XK8 for the week and a Ferrari F50 for the weekend. The lad is on cloud nine "A Jag and a Ferrari !!!!!, I only had a Reliant Robin at Doncaster! Ferguson continues "I told you, we're talking Man United here......we consider ourselves the best team in the country, you've got to aim high. Right I'll put you on at the start of the game, but don't be surprised If I pull you off at half time. The lad can't believe it "Pull me off at half time !!!!!!, I only got an orange at Doncaster!"