1st month of fading
I'm nearly at the end of my first month of becoming inactive. Only my daughter knows. I've had a cold half of the month so no questions or pressure has been put on me yet. I move In January and would be under another congregation. I do know a few people there but if I get asked why I'm not going can just say I'm working out some personal things as I've been through a lot the last couple of years. Any advice or ideas for phasing out successfully?
If there are enough Congs in your area, then I would suggest two moves. The first move would be a Cong just have your Pub Cards sent. Only make one or two meetings in that move just to make an appearance or two, then move again to a different Cong and let your Pub Cards get lost in the shuffle.
Be sick, be busy moving, be busy with work, avoid JW contract. Just be prepared to lose all of your JW friends.
Even if just become inactive? I will have to find ways to make new friends coz other than jws I have no friends where I'm moving. I'll have to join clubs and toddler groups and stuff straight away to meet new people then
Its shocking that people you've known for years can just drop you like that. Shows they're fake friends in the truth if can just drop you if you aren't meeting certain conditions
Everyone is different. In my case, I just stopped going. No one has come to check on me. They ask my mother about me at the hall but none of my "friends" have called or even text me.
The elders only ring right before a CO visit although they did come on a shepherding call over a year ago. We screen our calls s they are easily avoided as they don't leave messages.
We have been in the same congregation for over 40 years and haven't been to a meeting now in 2 1/2 years. Haven't needed to move house.
In support to DOC's suggestion, you could attend a Cong some distance away from the territory where you actually moved to. Attend a few meetings on an irregular basis but request to have your publisher card moved there.
Claim a job transfer requires some evening and weekend training which may result in irregular attendance initially. If asked for your address, claim you currently reside in a temporary apt/house until you find something more suitable and permanent.
Since you mentioned moving yet again, it won't be too odd initially when you don't further attend. They will then probably expect to receive a request to further forward your publisher card. If you attend that cong only a few times, they probably will soon forget what you even look like.
By doing this, you shouldn't need to actually move 2X. Because no one in your actual location Cong knows you, you should likely be able to disappear without looking over your shoulder.
Don't give too much personal info to anyone. Try to avoid suspicion. Like doc said, be busy, feel "tired" whatever... that really could be the best strategy. JW's usually respect medical/mental circumstances and hopefully will not spy on you. And by reading your first post , you DID experience tough times. Maybe your "cold" will not leave entirely and they will get used to your poor immune system. (What the heck do they know about you anyway, and as long as it serves your road to freedom...)
It's exactly like the Awake! once said...we live in a time of super bugs! JW's love that stuff!
Anyway, you can also search for "fade" or "advice fade" at this forum and you'll find out that all roads lead to Rome.
Good luck with your strategy!
Don't play their game. Move and don't go to a meeting. Don't let them put a face to the name if they don't know you. Those that do, will simply think you are spiritually weak and VERY few will actually try to encourage you, Move on. If you do the Pub card BS you will give them power over you. Just move on. If anyone questions you just tell them its not a subject you wish to discuss right now, end of discussion. Be strong without being rude.
Any advice or ideas for phasing out successfully?
There's no cookie-cutter way of fading, as it is something that we call to whatever process you choose to detach from the WT.
So the only advice I can give you is, make every single decision well thought and to your own benefit. Whichever move you make, make sure that it brings you closer to freeing yourself from having to live the way you live as a JW, and don't forget to build support outside.
Once more thing (I know I said only one thing) remember that the JWs are not going to like or be nice about your fading. Don't expect their support or them reacting positively to it.
Never forget that "silence is golden." Keep quiet as you fade.
You have a P.M. which may give you some hints on how to deal with the wolves - if they come sniffing around.