We are more than familiar with the WTS rules that say the d/f'd ones , even close relatives outside the home are to be shunned completely "Not even saying a greeting" except in very exceptional circumstances.
There is ,however, a line of thought that reasons on Jesus' words at Matthew 18 ,regarding personal disputes,and their application of it to being disfellowshipped.
Matthew 18:15-17
15 “Moreover, if your brother commits a sin, go lay bare his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take along with you one or two more, in order that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. 17 If he does not listen to them, speak to the congregation. If he does not listen even to the congregation, let him be to you just as a man of the nations and as a tax collector.
They explain it this way:
Wt 99 10/15 p22
20 In a relatively few cases, however, the sinner reflects that same attitude. If so, Jesus’ direction is clear: “Let him be to you just as a man of the nations and as a tax collector.” The Lord did not recommend being inhumane or desirous of any hurt. There is, though, no ambiguity about the apostle Paul’s direction to exclude unrepentant sinners from the congregation. (1 Corinthians 5:11-13) Even this may eventually result in the goal of gaining the sinner.
P19
6 Jesus’ disciples hearing those words knew that their countrymen would not socialize with Gentiles. (John 4:9; 18:28; Acts 10:28) And they definitely avoided tax collectors, men who were born Jewish but who turned into misusers of the people. So strictly speaking, the reference at Matthew 18:15-17 was to serious sins, not personal offenses or hurts that you can simply forgive and forgetOK then we understand that the Jews held such people with disdain.. but who's example should we copy? Unfaithful, rule bound First Century Jews or Jesus himself? What was last Summer's Convention all about? "Imitate Jesus!"We know that Jesus treated such ones differently.
"The Greatest Man " chap 27
Apparently, Matthew has invited these tax collectors to his home so that they can listen to Jesus and receive spiritual healing. So Jesus associates with them to help them attain a healthy relationship with God. Jesus does not despise such ones, as do the self-righteous Pharisees. Rather, moved with compassion he, in effect, serves as a spiritual physician to them.
Wt 88 5/15 p 12-13
Compare also the Bible's account of Jesus' encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well.
10 Jesus spent most of his earthly life with Jewish people. But one day he was approached by a Phoenician woman, a Gentile, who begged him to cure her daughter. In response Jesus said: “I was not sent forth to any but to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” Yet, the woman pleaded: ................ Impressed with the woman’s faith, Jesus healed her daughter immediately.—Matthew 15:22-28.
All in all I believe that it casts doubt on the WTS's interpretation of the d'f arrangement . The rules they make are their own interpretation of the other scriptures. It is perfectly possible to exclude a "wrongdoer" from the congregation and organized social activities - he would "no longer be one of JW's" without imposing the cruel shunning that hurts both him and his family.Food for thought, anyway