I was just numb. I thought to myself: 'Is that it?'
For me it was easier just to go with the flow. I weighed up getting baptized and going through the motions against rebelling against 'the truth' and all that would arise out of that in my family home. My parents had long told me that should I cause trouble in their 'theocratically run' home that they would have had no hesitation in throwing me out. Being practical I decided to go along with it until the circumstances arose that would allow me to get out.
So I took the attitude; if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Of course I was a totally naive 17 year old who had no other life experience other than being raised in the JW's so I had no other frame of reference. My mother recently told me that I had the 'choice' whether or not to get baptized.