New field service tactics!

by NikL 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • NikL


    These are untried and untested techniques to get
    around conversation stoppers. Just think, Soon
    we'll all be ready for summer!

    I hope you find some benefit with these:

    (1)"I'm not interested."

    I say: "Well, many feel the same way. And
    they're called goats in the Bible. Let me share with
    you a scripture that talks about the fate of those
    goats. (Read Matthew 25:46) Do you want to get cut

    (2)"I have my own religion."

    I say: "Yeah... and I have MY own religion too.
    See, I'm what you call a "Christian". (Make sure to
    bob your index and middle fingers in the air when
    saying "Christian". It makes them feel stupid.) You
    know what "Christians" do? They "preach" to people.
    Those that don't preach" to people are called "goats"
    in the Bible. Do you want to know what happens to
    "goats"?" Then,you know what to do from there.

    (3)"I'm too busy."

    I say: "No you're not. You were probably in
    there watching TV or something. Don't lie to me. You
    know who the father of the lie is? It's Satan. Is he
    your daddy? Well... I think he is!"

    (4)"I'll read your literature if you'll read

    I say: "Hey. This isn't a hostage negotiation
    here. I'm here to preach to YOU. Now, if you want to
    preach to ME, you'll have to get up off YOUR lazy
    bottom, and come knock on MY door on a Saturday
    morning. But don't bother, because I'm NOT INTERESTED
    in your beliefs, because I HAVE MY OWN RELIGION, and
    I'M TOO BUSY in the work of the Lord to READ YOUR
    in THEIR face.

    OKAY!!!!!!! So who's ready for service?

  • Stephanus

    Ha, bloody ha! Try slamming MY door on me, Arsehole, and you'll be sued for trespassing so fast it'll make your head swim!

    What a great witness you guys are!

    I'm tempted to copy and print this loving post of yours and drop it into letterboxes in my neighbourhood, complete with a note that this is what the righteous "servants of Jehovah" REALLY think of the people they wake wake up on a Saturday morning!

  • patio34


    Very funny LOL! I'm sure that'll be in the KM soon!


  • crossroads

    Nikl- Very funny keep up all those great field service tips.
    Love your little dancer-I'm not too good of a dancer so
    I've been watching trying to pick up some new steps.
    Peace and Love -Mark

  • Thirdson

    Funny post NikL.

    My all time favorite response in the reasoning book is to "I'm not interested in Jehovah's Witnesses"

    The RB states "I appreciate your letting me know how pissed you are at me. Would you mind telling me what there is about us that you don't like? Is it what we show you from the Bible or is it our knocking on your door at 9:00 AM on Saturday every other week that bothers you?" Top of Page 18..slightly paraphrased.


    'To avoid criticism, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing'

  • emyrose

    Thanks! That was really funny, I almost choked on the chocolate I was chewing while I read this. Hope to read more JW comedy. I love it!
    Have a good day, Emyrose

  • Prisca

    That was hilarious! Thanks for the chuckle, Nik!

  • dark clouds
    dark clouds

    i'm confused did Stephanus think you were serious??!!

    OMG that would be way too funny, i see it now next time someone goes to knock on his door. . . .ROFLMAO

    what i would give to be a fly on that wall. . .


    irony is that most of the 'mature' dubs feel like that Nik

  • SixofNine

    The sad thing is, I saw this posted on WOL.

    Stated as humor of course, but still!

  • Prisca

    dark clouds,

    what Stephanus is guilty of is called "Aussie humour"

Share this