Why isn't demon possession a DF offense?

by rebel8 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007
    Good point....never saw anyone possesed but my mom claimed my house has "demons" because it creaks at night.
  • talesin
    talesin

    Attend meeting, and when they approach you ...

    You could tell them you have been consulting a spirit board for quite some time, and have welcomed Satan into your heart.

    He has instructed you to come back to the meetings so that you can share the REAL truth - that the OCCULT is the true religion. For the past 6 months, you hold Black Mass weekly, and wish to share these truths with your Brothers and Sisters at the KH.

    Jesus was a False Prophet, and Lucifer, Lord of Light, is the true Saviour of all Mankind!

    Then, lower your head slightly, make your eyes roll back like Nicholson in The Shining, and say in a deep voice, "Listen to ME, I am the MESSENGER!" Then bare your teeth and hiss.

  • steve2
    steve2

    C'mon people. You make like you need supernatural help to be possessed. You don't. This is 2015 not 1615. Any pussy who wants to be on stage can get possessed.

    All it requires is lots of terrible overacting.

    Apparently, a couple of squirts of Pepsodent in the mouth with a twig of tepid water can produce awesome foaming of the mouth.

    My hero for tilted down head and up-raised eyelids is Malcolm McDowell from Clockwork Orange. Evil with a cockney accent . Marvellous spookiness.

    As for the deeper than deep voices beloved of the worst over-acting demon possessions enlist the help of your stroppy lesbian neighbors whose voices tear strips off paiinted surfaces (high pitched registers do not evoke fear the way deep voices do).

    Mix these elements together and you will scare the bejesus out of even Richard Dawkins.

    Tell Satan not to get behind you ( unless you've got "protection" that is) but to stand alongside you as you drink in the blood of the demon possessed night - I've a bit of a weak stomach, so my limit is beetroot juice but man you should watch my foaming and rolled back eyes. I'm simply stunning.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    rebel8 - "I have no idea what that means."

    ''F**k, yeah!" is a profane expression meaning "I wholeheartedly agree!", "pansy-assed puzzlebox-BDSM-fishhook bullshit" is a reference to the Hellraiser film franchise, and "Kick it old-school, all the way, man!" is a sarcastic reference to 90s street slang.

    If you don't know what the "devil horns" gesture is, however, I give up.

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