Now I know there's a lot of sceptics here (myself included) when it comes to the reliability of horoscopes, but I found one that seemed alot more accurate than the regular crapola you see in the papers. Look yours up to see how accurate this is!!
AQUARIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19): You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical causing you to make the same mistake over and over again. People think you are stupid.
PISCES (Feb 20 - Mar 20): You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people often pick their noses in public.
ARIES: (Mar 21 - Apr 20): You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are not very nice. Most Aries make good politicians.
TAURUS: (Apr 21 - May 21): You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination to work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. Taurus people have B.O. and fart alot.
GEMINI: (May 22 - June 21): You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People lilke you because you are bi-sexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Most drug dealers are Geminis.
CANCER: (June 22 - July 23): You are sympathetic and undersanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off which is why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.
LEO: (July 24 - Aug 23): You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves.
VIRGO: (Aug 24 - Sept 23): You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.
LIBRA: (Sept. 24 - Oct 23): You are the sarcastic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women make good prostitutes. All Libra people have venerial disease.
SCORPIO: (Oct 24 - Nov 22): You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of theics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.
SAGGITARIUS (Nov 23 - Dec 21): You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a restless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Saggitarisns are drunks and dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.
CAPRICORN: (Dec 22 - Jan 20): You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long as a dog might think he is a tree and pee on him.