My father has cancer??

by blisterfeet 15 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blisterfeet

    I am semi estranged from my jw family. I am interested in a relationship but it never works.. they aren’t interested at all so we just leave it like that.

    I received a text from my half-sister yesterday saying “your dad has cancer, it’s bad, I don’t know anything” i figured there was more to the story and if my dad needed me to know anything he would tell me. Or not.

    I spoke with my mom this morning. Dad has colorectal cancer, it’s bad they might find out more tomorrow.

    I think I’m supposed to feel things. The only thing I feel is like I’m supposed to feel but I don’t. And confused.

    Im thankful they told me. I don’t know what to do to help. Usually staying away is “helping”. But this is big.. this is our patriarch...

    i guess im just ironing out thoughts out loud-ish

  • cofty

    I'm sorry to hear your worrying news. My advice would be to get in touch and express your concern. If it is rejected you have still done the right thing.

    Also don't panic. Unless it has spread already there is a very good chance it can be fixed. I went through it the same thing 5 years ago and it later spread to my lung. I'm still standing and symptom-free.

    Edited to add - Don't worry about how you are 'supposed' to feel. You feelings have a life of their own. It's what you do that counts.

  • blisterfeet

    Thank you cofty. The worst reaction is an overreaction.

    I should pray to Jehovah that he brings the new system quickly! 😉

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad
    "I think I’m supposed to feel things. The only thing I feel is like I’m supposed to feel but I don’t. And confused."

    Sorry to hear about your dad. The important thing to remember through out this whole process of your father's illness is that in the middle of it all is the Jehovah's Witnesses cult. So don't be too hard on yourself. Stay strong for yourself and your own well being.

  • blisterfeet

    That’s one of the confusing things! I’m just learning how to act like a normal functional contributing member of society (pardon the pun) and now I feel like I’m getting sucked back into the family drama that i fought sooooo hard to get out of... how do I act like myself and visit my old world?

  • Finkelstein

    I should pray to Jehovah that he brings the new system quickly!

    Or how about finding out all the information you can about the type of cancer your father has and the available medical treatments and relate that information to your other family members like a intelligent compassionate individual living in the 21st. century.

    You have my sympathies though regardless.

    Its shame that this corrupt religious cult disseminates family relationships but then it wouldn't be classified as a highly controlling cult if it didn't.

  • blisterfeet

    Finkelstein. I tried that when my nephew died... outcome implied 😢

  • Incognito

    I too offer my sympathies.

    Remember, relationships work in two directions. While you may choose to offer your love, concern and support as his son/daughter, if your efforts are rejected, at least you can feel happy for having made the effort. You can't force others to accept your efforts, even if they are family.

    If a good relationship with your father has not existed for some time, this is probably the reason you maybe feeling some indifference to the situation as he is likely somewhat of a stranger to you.

  • blisterfeet

    Thank you incognito. Very well put.

  • Spiral

    blisterfeet, I feel for you. Sorry to hear about your father.

    However, as far as the relationship goes with the JW family, all you can do is make yourself available. It's up to them what relationships they have, or not. Lifelong JWs tend to be rather childish, so it's hard to know how they react. Perhaps this is because even though they say that they have faith they will "fall asleep in death" and then wake up in the new system, disease free, they don't really believe it. Panic sets in, just as it can with anyone else.

    But I think you can be at peace knowing you were willing to be with them, and the "ball was in their court".

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