My grandmother died

by joelbear 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • joelbear

    My mother's mother who was 97 died yesterday. We weren't close. I had not seen her in probably close to 20 years. She lived an odd existence. She lived in a little mobile home overrun with cats most of her life. I wasn't very close to most of her family. Mostly one uncle and one aunt. Most of the brothers and sisters had or have pretty tragic lives.

    I don't know if I will go to the funeral. It will probably be at a Kingdom Hall. All those relatives and friends in one place not talking to me, I think would completely batter my nerves to bits. If not for facing this shunning I probably would have visited a Kingdom Hall by now, but that keeps me away. Just too traumatic.

    After my mother gets over the grief, I know she will be better off. She has been single handedly taking care of my grandmother for years and years. None of the witness grandchildren who lived in her same town had the time to do anything for her, so my 80 year old father and 76 year old mother would drive 50 miles once a week to take her shopping and clean her trailer until she was put in a nursing home a few months ago.

    My grandmother was never baptized but I think all of her children were except one and I think most of her grandchildren are witnesses, so she gets a witness funeral by proxy.

  • Derrick

    Feeling especially emotional due to the loss of my own father in recent months, it is sad to hear about your loss and I send my condolences to you and yours.


  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    Sorry to hear the news JB. All I can say is, witness or no-witness, she's still family.Your presence will serve as a real witness, one who 'cares'. As you said, 'None of the witness grandchildren who lived in her same home town had the time to do anything for her....' That is truly sad.

    Guest 77

  • larc

    Joel, my wife and I have been to three funerals and we were not shunned. Of course, our situation is somewhat different, so I can not predict how you will be treated. We have been out for 40 years, plus we moved to a different city. When we do occasionally return, we are treated well. Whether you are or not you will be, I think you should go. I bet there will be at least some there who will appreciate your attendance. Afterall, Witness relatives are allowed to make an exception to the shunning rule, when there is a family problem. Edited to add: it was one of these family problems that brought my sister and I back together after 15 years of noncommunication.

    Edited by - larc on 13 February 2003 9:22:46

  • LB

    Sorry to hear about grandma Joel. Even if you weren't close any death is a downer.

    Don't go if you really don't want to but were I in your shoes I'd go. I'd feel better about me for going. Good luck with whatever you decide.

  • email


    My condolences to you and your family...


  • MrMoe

    Oh Joel, sweetie, so sorry.

  • cruzanheart

    I'm so sorry, joelbear! Whatever you decide to do about the funeral, please remember we're all with you in spirit.


  • nilfun

    I'm so sorry for your loss Joelbear...keeping you in my thoughts...

  • Xandria


    Sorry to hear about your loss. Even though you may of not have been as close. You still have feelings in regards to all this. Death brings sadness to us all. In your case, the lost opportunity of having your grandmother be "free" of all the mess this religion ( if you call it that) puts people through. I wish you the best, even though you were not as close as you would of like to have been, she is still your grandmother and I feel your sadness of her passing on. Because through your eyes, she really had not lived. Cloistered away and seperated by religious beliefs.

    My grandmother told me once before she passed. Living in fear, is not living at all.

    Take care of yourself,


Share this