My JW Folks

by CraigSA 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Gopher

  I know exactly what it's like to have shunning parents. When I was still married to my JW wife, they'd keep up contact with her and my child, and when they flew into town they'd go out with her to eat and leave me home. Heartless.

  Now your parents want to control the dialogue, and yet have free access to your wife and kids? Excuse me? That is outright arrogance. I know it's tough, but I hope you stick to your guns. Otherwise you'd be rewarding their evil conduct. They think that just because they're JW's they're always right and can do no wrong, well it isn't so!!

  Craig -- you got mail.

  Jeff/Gopher
• 

  LovesDubs

  Be honest with your kids tho...if they want to know why grandma and grandpa treat daddy this way, TELL THEM. Kids understand things better than we give them credit for. My mother in law when I disassociated, made it very clear I was NOT to be around her children and NOT to contact her with my apostate thinking blah blah...and she shunned me. Then, a few years ago, the light went on in her head and she left the JWs. Disassociated. I of course welcomed her and was the only one speaking to her for the next two years, tho she "forced" herself on my JW husband and her other JW kids. Now...she is GOING BACK to the JWs and sent me a letter telling me how she wasnt going to "shun me" but then dictated to me what I was to say, what I was NOT to say and that I was to show respect for her choice. And to "tell the children that Grandma went back to Jehovah" like I was FREAKING going to say THAT to my kids! I told her I never wanted to see her again. And...that she was not to speak to my kids about this religion nor take them to any meetings. I said I would just save her having to pretend around me...that I knew what the rules were and in no WAY was I going to beg for her love or acceptance and was NOT going to wait around for her to throw me a bone once in awhile. I told her to keep it. Her estranged JW Elder husband claims he is going to come back to her when she is reinstated....but as for me? Im thrown out the door like last weeks garbage.

  Im sorry...we DONT NEED PEOPLE LIKE THAT IN OUR LIVES. Nor do we need them disrupting our homes and our childrens lives EITHER! Stand by your guns and your family. Her attempts to circumvent you are a show of POWER and she WILL try to recruit them. Keep them as far away as possible.
• 

  SYN

  Hi CraigSA, it truly sucks that these things have been done to you.

  Who'd've thought that the Witnesses in general could be so mean to you? There is no love in this Organization!

  Hope you've signed up for the Meetup that's happening at the end of this month!!!!!
• 

  Marcos

  Craig,

  Looks like you have gotten a lot of good advice here. Mostly, I say, "Me too" to what is said here.

  I would only like to add that you need to assess your unique situation as regards your relationship with your parents. Only you know how they will probably react to anything you do or say. Consider your course of action and then proceed.

  I would, by all means, say to my parents (in your place) that they accept all of us or none of us. There is an expression people used to use in the south (of the US), "like me, like my dog." You and your family are a unit. You are not in subjection to your parents. You owe them respect however, that has its limits. The honorable thing is to love them but set limits as to how much influence they can have in YOUR family. You and your wife must set the rules for your house, not your parents.

  If your parents are cruel, don't let them have contact with you, your wife or your children. You have to protect your wife and children. Your mom and dad undoubtedly love you. But don't be blackmailed. If you talk to them, reaffirm your love for them. But set the terms under which they may have access to you and your family. You also need and have a right to be loved.

  I hope it all works out well for you. Keep us posted

  Marcos