They Were Just Here,, Ugh!

by dawn27 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • A Paduan
    A Paduan

    I think you've already done it by telling the 'sisters' together, that you don't want to go back.

    They need you to explain to them if you're with them or against them - so they know how to treat you - they don't understand the concept, purpose or effect of simply being good to everyone - in fact, they "comprehendeth it not".


  • Farkel

    Farkel is furiously making notes: "diarrhea. Yep. That will work the next time a wannbe ex-dub asks for advice from me."

    "The elders are coming over to visit. What should I do?" - "diarrhea."

    "They accused me of apostasy at a JC" - "Tell them you MUST visit the bathroom. You have diarrhea. Then walk out the front door and disappear. When they try to contact you again, tell them you have diarrhea, and can't meet them until it is gone. Make sure you tell them you have diarrhea for the rest of your LIFE! They can't mess with you on this one!"

    Brother Nosy Elder asked you if you put in any field service time this month. Answer: "Nope." Brother Nosy Elder asks, "why?" "Diarrhea." "You had diarrhea ALL month?" "Yep, I did. Wanna see some?" That will stop them every time!

    (Be sure and save some REAL diarrhea in case they ask for evidence. If you don't get it very often, you can be sure to get it by eating at Taco Bell. You can save the evidence about 24 hours later. Be sure to refrigerate carefully as it tends to migrate into new life forms if kept at room temperature.)

    Thanks, Ven! That was brilliant!


    Edited by - Farkel on 10 February 2003 2:20:16

  • czarofmischief

    Farkel, Ven, you rock. I'm laughing as hard as the time I saw that picture of Bean with the willy problems.

    My advice is to go ahead and da yourself - it's like ripping off a bandaid and they'll leave you alone.

    Then take out your frustrations by picketing a convention - they'll definitely leave you alone after that!


  • riz


    have you ever had hot coffee shoot out of your nose? well let me tell ya- IT BURNS

    damn, girl. that was funny. thanks for the tip.

  • VeniceIT

    hahaha Glad ya'll enjoyed that!!!! hahahaha

    I hear Wendy's Chili with and ice tea works like a charm

    Mom once burned the inside of her nose with coffee riz hahaha. She had the lid on it and was telling a story so we were wathing her and I guess we hit a bump and the coffee (an Americano VERY HOT) shot out that lil drinking hole and straight up her nose!!!! We about died laughing, she said it hurt really bad too hahahhaahaha, hahahah I can't stop bwwahahahha ohh it was priceless!!!!

    Hey Fark wanna market some buttons with me

    "Make it Quick, I have diarrhea"
    Ven Bwahahhaaa

    Edited by - VeniceIT on 10 February 2003 19:27:18

  • LB

    Sounds like mom is being the good little nazi. What a shame.

  • rocky220

    When somebody comes to your house uninvited and unwanted again and again it is called next time tell them if they dont stop bothering you, you'll call the cops.......that should work! [sorry i got stuck on red.......]rocky220 [from the got stuck on red but got no diarrhea class]lol!

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