Farkel is furiously making notes: "diarrhea. Yep. That will work the next time a wannbe ex-dub asks for advice from me."
"The elders are coming over to visit. What should I do?" - "diarrhea."
"They accused me of apostasy at a JC" - "Tell them you MUST visit the bathroom. You have diarrhea. Then walk out the front door and disappear. When they try to contact you again, tell them you have diarrhea, and can't meet them until it is gone. Make sure you tell them you have diarrhea for the rest of your LIFE! They can't mess with you on this one!"
Brother Nosy Elder asked you if you put in any field service time this month. Answer: "Nope." Brother Nosy Elder asks, "why?" "Diarrhea." "You had diarrhea ALL month?" "Yep, I did. Wanna see some?" That will stop them every time!
(Be sure and save some REAL diarrhea in case they ask for evidence. If you don't get it very often, you can be sure to get it by eating at Taco Bell. You can save the evidence about 24 hours later. Be sure to refrigerate carefully as it tends to migrate into new life forms if kept at room temperature.)
Thanks, Ven! That was brilliant!
Edited by - Farkel on 10 February 2003 2:20:16