How to evade questions from elders when you stop going out door to door

by Olivia Wilde 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Olivia Wilde
    Olivia Wilde
    Due to circumstances right now I cannot leave permanently the watchtower, however I need honest advice of what to say when elders question me how come Im not meeting the group out for door to door & going out in " field service"... what would be proper responses not to draw suspicions since I'm aware of TTATT.. .any serious advice please...
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    There is no way around it, either you come clean or tell a lie...

    Today elders are paranoid, "Apostates" and for good reasons. They are on a witch hunt.

    Select your words carefully....

  • Daniel1555

    If an elder approaches you could say:

    "Thank you brother xx for your personal interest. Be assured, dear brother, that I am giving my best to live a life that pleases Jehovah. I have a strong personal relationship to him and I am giving my best for him. Be assured that I will call you if I need spiritual help."

    If they continue to ask be firm. You can also say. "My relationship to Jehovah is personal and I won't discuss it with anyone, BECAUSE IT IS PERSONAL."

    They only have as much power over you as you give them.

  • Oubliette

    Playing the depression card generally works.

    "I'm sorry brothers, I just so depressed right now. I simply am not emotionally ready to go to meetings, go out in FS, etc."

    If they press and ask why, tell them it's personal.

    Lather, rinse, repeat.

    If they suggest a "shepherding call" politely, but firmly, decline. "Thanks for your concern, but I'm just not up for it."

    Eventually they'll get busy on something else and give up.

  • Watchtower-Free

    Say you feel suicidal at meetings . Get a Doctor to document it.

  • OneEyedJoe
    There is no way around it, either you come clean or tell a lie...

    That's not necessarily true. Silence works too.

    When I was visited by a couple elders to "encourage" me, I didn't tell them a single lie and I didn't tell them enough to DF me either. Much of the exchange went like this:

    Elder: Is there a reason you haven't been at the meetings?

    Me: Yes.

    Elder: Do you want to share that reason with us?

    Me: No.

    Elder: Ok...(long pause) Well do you still view your dedication to jehovah as something that is valid to you?

    Me: My relationship with god is a very personal thing.

    Elder: Uh....OK...well do you believe that the bible is god's word?

    Me: That's definitely a very good question that everyone really needs to consider and decide for themselves, isn't it?

    Elder: Yes...yes it is...

    It's not necessarily an easy thing to do, because you'll be acutely aware of how uncomfortable you're making them. Especially if you actually happen to like the elders that are questioning you - one of them was a very kind brother that I liked personally, but luckily the douche ex-DO that's been COBE for all of 3 months was the one that did all the talking which made it a little easier. He definitely wasn't used to someone failing to bow down and spill their guts at his questioning, but there's nothing he can do about it, ultimately.

  • brandnew
    How bout " I DONT WANNA" ! ! ! !..........N STUFF ! !
  • James Mixon
    James Mixon
    OneEyedJoe: I stand corrected, that was a good job....
  • millie210

    Great ideas above!

    Olivia, depending on what your actual situation is, when I first began fading I limited my service to going on Bible studies of other people.

    Meet, go, sit, come home. Easy peasy.

    There is usually someone who would love to have a person go on a study at an odd hour with them (afternoons for example).

    Also, I had a non Witness friend who I studied with, who quit studying but we still met for coffee and dinner occasionally. I just turned in a couple hours a month for that.

    I know another lady who used a bum knee to start her back stepping away from field service. Once she realized the mileage she could get out of that bum knee it became permanently injured until she faded. At which point it was miraculously healed LOL.

    I understand exactly what you mean by wanting to do this on your terms without having to answer to or be hounded by the elders.

    All the best to you!

  • tornapart
    I've had the same problem, not with elders but other sisters. I simply say I no longer go on the first call, when asked why I just say that I have my reasons but would rather not say. Any further probing and I just say it's personal and I don't want to talk about. it usually works . :)

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