by Jesika 24 Replies latest jw friends
jess, are u saying your dad is willing to have a reltionship with u? If so, what has changed his mind?
BTW, did u know it appeared u were logged into chat for almost 2 days. people kept coming in and saying hello, but u weren't ther. lol sort of funny after a while.
jes you have mail
Jesika:
OH I KNOW, I just wanted you to know it's not you and nothing you can do or say is going to change him. I wasted so much time trying to jump through hoops. I found out now that the kids are grown what a monster he was to them when they would visit. So go with your gut and my hugZ to you I know it sucks I really do
((((((((((Jesika!))))))))))
I'm soooo sorry that your dad is in denial about the abuse!
Just take care of yourself, honey. . . Your dad has problems that he won't deal with . . . and we have no way of controlling other people and their way of thinking/acting.
Love ya,
ESTEE
((((((((((((Jesika))))))))))))
Jesika I may be missing some of the story so forgive me if I'm wrong here, but I am wondering why you would even want your son to be with the very people who if they didn't actually take part in the abuse you suffered they didn't help you recover from it. If I'm right in assuming your Father swept it under the carpet.......why would you expose your son to that? Please think about it. A relationship with people who won't protect you from abuse won't protect your son from abuse. IMHO
It seems to me that you are at a place in your life where you want answers, you NEED answers and validation that you were wronged. There are answers out there, one place I found them for myself when struggling with the same things is through ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) support groups. It's hard work, but it will provide you with coping skills and validation. You are angry, you have every right to be angry, you just need to find safe, legal and constructive ways to deal with it. One way is to learn to LET IT GO! Learn that you have no power to change anyone but yourself, you will gain power over your life in the way of internal peace of mind and a new way of looking at life in the present not the past. True we learn from our past but when we carry it around with us we loose out on the present.
You are such a sensitive, loving and caring person, I know because I've talked with you and felt your sensitivities and know you to be loving and caring. My best recomendation is that you go to a bookstore and look for books in the self help section that you find have the answers to your questions. There are so many I'm sure you find something that suits your pactular needs. I can't urge you enough to seek help through Adult Children of whatever groups, keep looking until you find a place for you, but in the meantime read everything you can and do the work. At some point the pain of staying where you are is enough to propell you to learn new ways of coping.
Sometimes you just have to accept that your family isn't healthy to be around and just let it be, move on and live a healthy happy life. That after all is the best revenge!
My love and support is always here for you, you have my email address and phone number if you need anything Jesika.
Katie
