Just got off the phone with my dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Jesika 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Jesika

    I am soooooooooooooooo upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo into the JW "thing", I just can't stand it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I asked him about the "two eye witness rule", and I can't even see straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Has anyone else tried this?????????????

    *wishing she never brought this up*

    Jesika -----------scroll down to see what was said..................

    Edited by - jesika on 9 February 2003 0:10:6

    Edited by - jesika on 10 February 2003 15:34:14

  • cruzanheart

    Yeah, I tried it with my dad, and I just got the pursed lips and studied looking-down-at-his-feet gaze that he does when he doesn't have an answer back, so I dropped it. Did you guys talk about anything else? Relationship? Honey, you're my daughter and I love you? ANYTHING LIKE THAT???


  • pr_capone

    (((((((((( Jesika ))))))))))

    I'm sorry sweety


  • LyinEyes

    Sometimes you just have to walk away , so to speak, Jesika. They just are not ready to hear it , the truth about the WT.

    I had a sister , in good standing , call me tonite, she is the one and only one who hasnt shunned me since I d/a.

    There was a wedding at the hall today and she called saying she missed me. We talked about her kids , mine, this and that, we talk about twice a month.

    She said,,,,,,,," well, I hope you get yourself together and come back to the hall".

    Mine you,,,,,, if anyone but this lady would have said this,,,,,,,,all hell would break lose. But with her , I will always love her for what she did for me when my mom passed away. She didnt know my story when I came to her congregation, but she took me literally under her wing, I was just 18 and she is almost old enough to be my mom. So that is why I didnt hang up on her. I know she really does miss me and I know she is only being a JW because it is easy for her and she does it the way she wants to ,,,,,,,,,,,one sunday or two a month and she is fine with that.

    Well,,,,,, I told her that I DO have myself together, and I am sure I will NEVER return to the hall. She said,,,,,, she guessed she understood, since her 24 yr old daughter tells her the same thing.

    I told her I wasnt sure what truth is ,,,,,but that I know they are not the only ones to have a chance if this world does end. She let it go and so did I and we talked another 20 minutes.

    So as long as she understands she cant make me go back to the hall, and I understand she is not ready to hear what I have to say ,, I do try.....lol,,,,,we will just keep peace for now.

    I know it is harder with your Dad, but if he talks to you and shows you he loves you at all, you might have a chance to help him see the light, maybe not now but later.

    hugsssssss ,, love ya dede

  • Shutterbug

    ((((Jesika)))) I have decided to adopt you. I well understand the two witness rule, I don't like it one bit, but I do understand it. Only problem, we are no doubt in agreement on this issue, so it wouldn't make for a very good debate.

    How about giving us more details of your conversation ? Meanwhile, hang in there and feel free to call me anytime. Bug

  • Sangdigger

    Jesika, i know how you feel. Last fri. night i spent about two hours on the phone bashing it out with my parents. (its happened before) My dad hung up on me three times. And each time i called him right back. But the third time he took it off the hook. It all started when my grandmother died last week. The funeral service was at my aunts home (she's too sick to get out much) and they denied me and my wife and child access to their house. So when i called my dad to get the time of the funeral (figured i could sit through a 30 minute propaganda talk) he told me i was not invited. I have no official label on me, but as my dad told my brother, "He's in a disfellowshipped state" basically the conversation turned into a all out debate on the authenticity of the WT. I think i probably just severed my last tie to them. BTW, what is the two eye witness rule? Hang in there, i know what its like.


  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    I asked him about the "two eye witness rule"

    So did I, 14 years ago. So I know what he told you yesterday. Understand that he's into the JW thing because that's all he's got. He cannot open his mind because, for him, it is too scary. Your father is someone who needs to feel in control because down deep he feels out of control. He's got some big emotions that are left over from his father; your grandfather has a lot of anger and control issues as well.

    That's how the cycle of abuse and dysfunction works. A man treats his children that way because he was raised that way and on and on all the way back to Adam. But at some point you've got to "Screw it! This is too crazy and I'm not going to be a part of it anymore." Realize Jes, you are the one who is breaking that cycle in your family. You have more courage and strength than your father, your uncles and your grandfather. It's tough to do because to break out not only do you have to stop the abuse, but you've got to give to your child what you were not given. What's that? Well for starters, how about unconditional love? Is there anything you would not do for your son? Your father cannot say that. By his actions you know there is no unconditional love. 10-14 years ago you needed him to support you and treat you with tender affection and compassion. He didn't. And you are justifiably angry over that betrayal. One day you need to tell him, calmly and rationally, what you're angry about; the areas where he cheated you. You've had a lot of shit dumped on you, and healing begins when you identify the shit and begin dumping it back where it belongs: on the person who gave it to you in the first place.

    You're a great mother Jesika. Treat your son as you wanted to be treated. Love him unconditionally 24/7 and he will never know what you know. That's how you break out.

    Give me a call if you want to talk.

    Love ya,


  • Sam Beli
    Sam Beli

    Dear Jesika,

    So sorry that you continue to be exposed to pain. Hopefully, with each passing encounter the pain will lessen slightly and in time it will not hurt as much as it does now.

    LyinEyes has it about right, I think. I too have a dad "in." He continues to try to recruit me, and at my age! Recognizing the truth about the truth is just too painful for those who have devoted many years to this cult. Beyond the pain there is the cowardliness. These types are just not brave enough to look objectively at the facts. They cower down into their little prejudiced world where they do not have to make informed decisions. Everything is decided for them and they feel safe that way.

    When we have had enough time to adjust to our new surroundings and bask in the light of our freedom we can look back upon those who remain in the JW world and pity them for their ignorance, their weakness and their enslavement.

    Warm regards to you Jesika, you are a young brave and beautiful person who deserves the best that life has to offer. Stay strong and you will develope pride in who you will have become and in what you will have achieved.


    Edited by - Sam Beli on 9 February 2003 11:30:1

  • ugg

    it is a losing battle!!!!!!!!!! hang in there...((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( jesika ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • obiwan

    The only way I would try it is if I enjoyed beating my head against a brick wall all day.

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